Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He told me not to worry, he’d pay child support until it’s 18, and he’d be moved out of our flat by Friday. When I asked him why, he told me not to be stupid, no way was he being trapped into raising a kid. He didn’t even ask if it was a boy or girl. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He immediately had a massive panic attack about how a kid is going to ruin his life and split us up, because obviously I’ll choose the baby over him. We’re now in hospital because he hyperventilated, passed out and fractured his skull on the door handle. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he might want kids one day, and he most definitely does not. In fact, he even thanked me for reminding him we need to stock up on condoms when we go shopping, plus he’s even considering a vasectomy just to make sure. I’m already pregnant. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You are with a stupid man. The correct answer is: Falcon Punch.
spidersilkx9 0
that's what my dad said he'd do to me if I ever got prego.
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Comments (339)
rawrkittehpwnage 0
ouch
kinukle 0
he forgot the part where u get speared in the stomach by a metal rod...
The_grumpy_bear 0
Sounds like something my boyfriend would say. Good luck of you do get pregnant.
FMASS 0
so stop having sex or use condoms insted of complaining
MichieBabiie 0
I'm sure he was only joking. Suck it up.
pink_mx_braap 0
well I really hope you aren't...but if you are I'd check on some state laws, bc some states will try whoever harmed or killed your baby for attempted murder or murder...
zerobahamut03 2
yea i am sure he was only kidding OP! then again fyl if he wasn't so better strap on a extra condom just in case.
o_trevino92 0
why would she strap anything on lol gross
kidwiththehair12 0
LOL
KarinaLizeth18 5
83 - The comment 62 made didn't say SHE had to strap one on. It said, "better strap on a extra condom," so that could mean that 62 was suggesting it for the boyfriend.
AbsoluteTurtle 0
WIN.
marlaineeeee 0
haha my boyfriend says the same thing. on the inside he's probably scared but a little excited too. don't take it too seriously, OP.
JackynJared 0
I think it was in reference to Gone With the Wind, Scarlett was pregnant and Rhett pushed her down the stairs. She had a miscarriage.
bmeixsell_fml 0
I hear they are having a sale on wire hangers at Target!
Emrysa 1
Um. He didn't harm or kill her baby. The amount of serious business on here is ridiculous. Several of the comments say things like kill him, slap him, ect ect pot kettle bitches omg! Threats! Call the cops. And some of you are serious, where I'm pretty sure her boyfriend was kidding. What's worse, her boyfriend making a tasteless joke, or a woman thinking about getting "accidentally" pregnant and screwing up the rest of this guy's life because she's a selfish moron? Yeah.
chris_fml1 0
hahahahah hes totally excited about having an unwanted kid, god your an idiot. id push her down the stairs too if i was him
anarchy109 5
LMFAO
sjoe789 0
WHAT DOES OP MEAN???
5t3ff1k4h 47
289 - Orange Primape.
SympathyearAbs 0
Original Poster, the one who wrote the fml.
ArentICute 0
Just pull him down with you.
AlexisSilver 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
omigod. that's weird. DUMP HIS ASS. and a little creepy too, maybe you should file a restraining order or something.
lizz12345 0
I think that's a bit of an over reaction.
X18GirlX 0
just a tad
Quidikic 9
I'm below the hot girls, pun intended
starile 20
The OP and her boyfriend are probably teenagers, of course he wouldn't want to be getting her pregnant.
dudeitsdanny 10
Why would she dump him over not being ready to be a parent? I've told my girlfriend this multiple times, without her asking, too, since we know a lot of pregnant people(or people with kids) our age. I've also thrown in swift kick to the belly, forcing her to drink herself into the ER, and the classic wire hanger. She has a sense of humor so she laughs. This doesnt make me a psycho. When we thought she was pregnant, I was extremely supprotive while she went to the doctor and waited for the results. Worst two weeks ever, lol.
skittle68 0
Yeah, seriously- I think it's weirder to ask what he would do if she accidently got prego than his obviously meant to be humorous reply. Get a sense of humor
whiteboy77 0
I'm assuming it was a Joke in witch case you didn't get it
AlexisSilver 10
well fine haters, I'm just saying that if my boyfriend ever said that, I would break up with him for being insensitive, and a bastard who would actually do that. also, I would pull a restraining order if he ever DID that. calm down!
kappaaa 12
number 2, **** up you little pre-teen
akwardmuch 0
honestly I think it's hilarious. and I'm sure he was kidding. don't be so melodramatic.
tweetbaby14 18
130 you're only 12 or 13 why are you talking about getting pregnant? ugh kids having sex is disgusting.
guiltypleasure12 0
139 and 153. you are the ones that need to relax! she just expressed her opinion, and yes mind your small heads, that IS allowed. and she never said she was having sex. geeze control yourselves.
ZleveL 0
lol 50 2 your profile says you were born in 1997. why the **** do you even have a boyfriend when you're 13? ugh stupid little kids *facepalm*
tweetbaby14 18
164 I never said opinions were wrong I asked why a 12 or 13 year old is discussing pregnancy with their boyfriend. learn to read dipwad.
guiltypleasure12 0
oh my dear tweethead, shall we go back to the basics. she never said she was discussing it with her boyfriend,she clearly said IF. which my fellow fml-er only implies future occurrences. and that is so completely beside the matter. the fact is she's only 13 and you are basically insulting her. you are bullying someone who is many years younger than you, and that's absolute nonsense. next time you point your fingers at other peoples spots make sure to check if your hands are clean.
chokeabitch 0
maybe you're retarded and should get a sense of humor.
chokeabitch 0
joking and doing aren't the same thing, you mental midget.
Shell02 0
mental midget! ahahah.
JessieMongoose 11
e-fight! /watches. o.o
mojo5678 5
Go throw yourself down some stairs
spidersilkx9 0
that's what my dad said he'd do to me if I ever got prego.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
mine too omg..
AyeItsMobleyy 0
my mom told me "Sex can wait, **********."
nerdsgetmehot 23
#66 My mom didn't even want me doing that. She told me that "masturbation is bad." Sadly, I'm not joking...
McCamryn123 0
my dad said he'd chop off my girls. kidd
AyeItsMobleyy 0
67 I was kidding. but your mom sounds like a great person. lmao
nerdsgetmehot 23
#135 Yep, she's a real hoot and half.
kyliebear 15
What, does your dad expect you to be old and wrinkly with no kids?
cars819 0
wow what an asshole. He doesn't deserve you. FYL
Girreth 7
OP deserves it for expecting assholes to be supportive.
bean_dip21 0
Why waste time with stairs? Punch her stomache!
chokeabitch 0
put away the armor, sir saveaho.
TheOriginalKyrs 0
I know that's wrong, but it made me LOL. Win. Good luck with that whole scenario if you really were pregnant.
ilovefatcats 12
NOT ******* FUNNY >:/ this happend to my would-be younger brother 2 years ago
HAV1K_666 0
exactly. so now that everything is cleared up we can all continue to lol (:
Talia_91 13
he could of been joking about it a lot of people make the stairs joke
Zigma_fml 0
PFFFFTHHH! (Written sound effect of a spit-take.) This was the funniest mean thing I've heard in a while! But seriously, dump him. Or just don't get pregnant. Pretty simple.
bart100125 0
Omfg :S thats just.. wrong:O KILL HIM =D
iSeeStarz 0
YDI for being a woman.
LightningLadyy 0
Yeah, cause you totally decide what gender you get to be.
katherineann227 0
i know. ass wipe. i hope you fall down stairs!
mama2010 0
right!!?
hahahayeahright 5
don't feed the troll..!
SpaceMannn 0
that is pretty cute actually. a "nice" flight of stairs. sounds nice.