Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He told me not to worry, he’d pay child support until it’s 18, and he’d be moved out of our flat by Friday. When I asked him why, he told me not to be stupid, no way was he being trapped into raising a kid. He didn’t even ask if it was a boy or girl. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He immediately had a massive panic attack about how a kid is going to ruin his life and split us up, because obviously I’ll choose the baby over him. We’re now in hospital because he hyperventilated, passed out and fractured his skull on the door handle. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he might want kids one day, and he most definitely does not. In fact, he even thanked me for reminding him we need to stock up on condoms when we go shopping, plus he’s even considering a vasectomy just to make sure. I’m already pregnant. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You are with a stupid man. The correct answer is: Falcon Punch.
spidersilkx9 0
that's what my dad said he'd do to me if I ever got prego.
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Comments (339)
FFML_314 12
Oh, you mean like **** you? OK, **** you, asshole. How about I just run around telling people I'm going to shake their babies and murder their grandmothers, would that be OK? Don't worry though! It's only a joke. Some things AREN'T funny. You want to call me a pussy? Why don't you get your dumb-ass thrown down a flight of stairs and bury your child. Come back to me, when you have some validity to your point. ******* childish assholes on this site.
monkeykiller77 0
lol he's awesome, another free way to abort a useless fetus
Goddess_Rummy 13
He's a keeper. =]
smexiSGF 0
what a jackass dump him
Djamez 0
I said that to my girlfriend lol
mandy248 0
dump him. if he really means it, physicaly push him down the stairs.
chokeabitch 0
you're 13. you have no business discussing pregnancy for as many years as you are now. do you think it's ok to have mommy and daddy pay for your kid because you see it on MTV?
ZomgWeAreClubKid 0
Haha never have kids with him around.
twistedsamuelle 0
as a woman who ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT WANT CHILDREN EVER my boyfriend and i would probably laugh over that. Buut I guess it depends on your views, your life expectations, and your relationship with your significant other on if you would be offended by that and what you would need to do in your relationship.
mockingjay_fml 0
he was just kidding , calm down .
Hughmadd 0
You wanted him to be supportive... about WHAT?