Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He told me not to worry, he’d pay child support until it’s 18, and he’d be moved out of our flat by Friday. When I asked him why, he told me not to be stupid, no way was he being trapped into raising a kid. He didn’t even ask if it was a boy or girl. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He immediately had a massive panic attack about how a kid is going to ruin his life and split us up, because obviously I’ll choose the baby over him. We’re now in hospital because he hyperventilated, passed out and fractured his skull on the door handle. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he might want kids one day, and he most definitely does not. In fact, he even thanked me for reminding him we need to stock up on condoms when we go shopping, plus he’s even considering a vasectomy just to make sure. I’m already pregnant. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
You are with a stupid man. The correct answer is: Falcon Punch.
spidersilkx9 0
that's what my dad said he'd do to me if I ever got prego.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (339)
perdix 31
You are with a stupid man. The correct answer is: Falcon Punch.
myschyveus 0
smash bros/f zero WIN
Action_Bastard 0
The most humane procedure to abort a pregnancy to this day. WIN.
KarinaLizeth18 5
Nerds.^ Haha, I'm jk!... or am I? O.o
nerdsgetmehot 23
#154 There's nothing wrong with being a nerd. :P
peacelovekat 0
omg abortion would be easy and not so hurtful but ur heart would be hurting
ktbird 0
I tend to agree with this. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. Are you planning on starting a family sometime soon? No? Then don't ask. If you want to have a serious "what would we do if" conversation that's one thing. Bringing stuff like that up casually is different.
allenrotstein 0
yeah, women and their schemes...
Cinn_fml 23
I can't help but agree too. If the OP thought that he would be supportive if she got pregnant, then chances are he was joking with that responce for whatever reason, such as him not wanting her to just get pregnant without talking to him first, or because he thought she was joking around. If he was the kind of man who would really do what he suggested, I can't help but think the OP would already have noticed.
theprincess79 2
Abortion may be "easy" as u claim, but the physical and mental side effects experienced after getting one would not be easy or fun. Your heart would definatley be hurting for a very long time afterwards.
FFML_314 12
And you followed that with "I never said it was yours." Right?
starile 20
Then he'd DEFINITELY wanna push her down some stairs.
lockerbilr 0
Brilliant
swimmerstud 7
and that's when you tell him your pregnant right?
YouLookSoFine 0
lol @ him being a jerk "Stairs huh? Maybe you can be the one that tests them out"
jewbies 0
he was probably joking
yummycupcakegirl 0
dump Him he might hurt the child!!
chokeabitch 0
her clinging is gonna do a lot more damage over the course of a lifetime.
mrR4G3R 0
at least it wont be any random flight of stairs.
junying 0
Tell him no more sex till he thinks he can take the responsibility! lol! >.<
argv 0
If I had a girlfriend say that to me, I'd dump her on the spot. Making babies is a sin, not to mention incredibly stupid. I am absolutely against reproducing; it is reprehensible. To call it a "responsibility" is to imply that my position is one of immaturity, and to that I say "**** you."
chokeabitch 0
but your position is one of immaturity. look at all the asinine statements in your response.
FFML_314 12
Yes, because his response was justified. You're right about people asking questions that they don't know the answer too, but his response was unwarranted, sick and evil. Granted he might have been joking, but quite honestly, from personal experience, I can tell you that's it's /not/ funny at all. Anyway, there was my banter!