Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly, and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
Today, my boyfriend was breaking up with me because he felt his needs were not met. I asked what I could do to change his mind. He said, "Suck my dick, right now." It got me more turned on than I thought possible. What is wrong with me? FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
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Top comments
amazinemo578 4
what? that's romantic
spady62287 0
WIN!
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Comments (342)
jkgfdxb 0
tell him to give you head in return:) then everyones happy?
bennyboy111 7
hahaha lol agreed
Sonfang 19
Well it could be worse, at least he wants to be intimate! He could have said he was 'heading out with the guys' and totally ignored your attempts. :) Give him some loving OP.
ujonesy 0
at least he is keeping it classy.
Doortje 30
He's a keeper! sucking a dick in moonlight, I can't think of anything more romantic.
erod707 0
hahaha
cufaoil 11
that's funny and tragic at the same time.... kudos to the bf for quick wit, but obviously he was thinking with the little head...
TheWicked 4
haha hilarious guy :D
1personinthiswor 0
Your boyfriend is both funny and vulgar. I laughed.
thew_fml 14
it's an FHL as you didn't suck his dick
Cinn_fml 23
How'd you know she didn't? :P
rozmrong 0
I laught too hard to breathe. the most funny story I've seen on FML...