Today, I overheard my mom on the phone ranting about how China "engineered and released" the coronavirus and the giant hornets in an attempt to take over the world. Only one more month of quarantine left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother called me from the other side of the world to tell me she's got Covid. She got it from a friend, who later told her that they had attended anti-mask rallies. She's only been visiting her friend because she needs internet to keep working and can't get it where she is. FML
Today, my mother is acting pissy because I poured my drink out on our front lawn. Apparently, this was, "ridiculous and embarrassing." Meanwhile, COVID is surging and it looks like I'll be quarantining with her. Kill me. FML
Today, my girlfriend has been randomly screaming out, “Coronavirus! Hehehe!” in a scarily accurate Cardi B impression. She’s been doing it for days and refuses to stop. I’m starting to think facing the damn virus might be less annoying at this point. FML
Today, I'm at my mother-in-law's funeral, who died of Covid-19. Months before catching the virus, she would claim that, "the entire Covid thang is bullshit" and "people are just behaving like f****ts over a simple flu." FML
Today, my wife asked me for a divorce, shortly after I found out she's been having an affair. Then our county placed us on quarantine for Covid-19. Now I'm stuck living with her until it goes away. FML
Today, I was told to go fuck myself twice because I asked people to wear masks. Only a month and a half of this left. FML
Today, it's 2026, and my mom is still shit-scared of COVID and demands I wear a mask, slather on hand sanitizer, and just generally make an ass of myself everywhere I go. Being with her in public is so humiliating, she wears a face shield, two masks, and is equal parts Karen and Hitler. FML
Today, after quarantining for 2 weeks so I could spend Christmas with my parents, they went over to see a COVID hoaxer/Trump-supporting neighbor, and spent an hour inside with him, without wearing masks. I'm a nurse, working with cancer patients. They don't understand why I'm upset, and are angry that I'm leaving. FML
Today, we overheard a customer in our store talking on the phone about how she'd been exposed to someone positive for COVID-19, and was supposed to be at home in quarantine just in case. The terrifying thing is how many other people come into our store when they shouldn't. FML
Today, I saw the coronavirus news this morning, all about the new variant. I've been working 100% remotely for past year and a half. Here we fucking go again. FML
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Top comments
Bogrbon 27
Sounds like you need to put parental controls on the FoxNews channels. Who knew “parental controls” were there to control your parents.
Marcella1016 32
Holy shit just one more month of quarantine?! I’d love to borrow the crystal ball you have. I’m jealous your quarantine actually has a deadline. Mine is still “TBD”
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Comments (6)
franky222 3
My family is exactly the same.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
murica has held the patent on the virus
Bogrbon 27
Sounds like you need to put parental controls on the FoxNews channels. Who knew “parental controls” were there to control your parents.
Marcella1016 32
Holy shit just one more month of quarantine?! I’d love to borrow the crystal ball you have. I’m jealous your quarantine actually has a deadline. Mine is still “TBD”
s_ve 7
Canada? Lol because same
BurnInDemonFire 39
One more month? Have you seen the dumbasses who are in charge? I'll be drawing a pension before they sort it out. And I'm currently in my 30s!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I mean, she isn't completely wrong... maybe not the engineering part but both did come from China.