Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly, and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
Today, my boyfriend was breaking up with me because he felt his needs were not met. I asked what I could do to change his mind. He said, "Suck my dick, right now." It got me more turned on than I thought possible. What is wrong with me? FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
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Top comments
amazinemo578 4
what? that's romantic
spady62287 0
WIN!
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Comments (342)
to3_tag 0
that is truly epic, when you ask a stupid question you get a stupid answer, now get on your knees and blow the game
Zervant 0
he should get what he asks. if her father walks in the room with the 12 gauge locked n' loaded it's all his fault. :)
irritatedone 5
I know right. what she bitching about? I woulda just done like I'm told and swallowed the monster.
alanirys 0
well... how romantic! -_-'
Cinn_fml 23
I can understand that it's not giving you anything, however it might lead to something which does. So you know, give him props for the joke, because it was quick.
MAGNAVOX 0
I don't think her boyfriend was joking lol.
Cinn_fml 23
Well, there is that. However I meant with the comeback bit more than the first statement. Joke or not, it is quick witted.
DocBastard 40
I think the boyfriend deserves some oral satisfaction for that bit of wit. OP needs to grow a sense of humor.
Zervant 0
*sarcastic* maybe she should just spread her legs a little bit more… *[end] sarcasticness* what did she expect when she asked in a sexy voice?
nigalangelospizz 0
you're not pretty like the other girls on this site.
Cinn_fml 23
FML isn't a beauty contest, nigalangelospizz.
MrFerret 0
Lots of the other girls are fake and this site is for laughs so yea doesn't matter. Anyway wat if he had some funky junk?
Zebidee 9
Cinn is right - kudos to the guy for being super quick-witted! This is a win for having a hilarious BF!
thegooseisloose 0
Fo realz?
XbambiX 3
at least he is trying!!! shut up n hive em that bj!
XbambiX 3
*give
pokemaster2468 0
that's romantic in my book
poptartsznpornos_fml 0
lmfao ! good one
saltycookies 5
haha you got what you asked for
stro88 6
wahahaha!!! dude is fresh. your b is a gentleman indeed.