Anonymous
United States
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
muffingirl
United Kingdom
Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML
Anonymous
Cape Town, South Africa
The Conquest of Bread
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML
C. Kronick
United States
Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip. FML
rosabelle91
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Sydney, Australia
Charming
Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML
Jaided_Genetics
Kingston, Canada
Today, I finally addressed why my boyfriend started calling me "love bug" since we haven't used pet names in the entirety of our 2 year relationship. His response? "because I love you but you bug the shit out of me. It seemed appropriate." FML
Anonymous
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Djcc
United States
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Cupcakes
Queanbeyan, Australia
Yummy
Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML
Lucachoo
San Francisco, United States
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML
Pita
United States
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Top comments
thefranks 0
ahhh makin love in the bakery
KingDingALing 9
Ask him if you can call him "needle dick".
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Comments (174)
thefranks 0
ahhh makin love in the bakery
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Perhaps you should call in the muffin man(:
ChubbyCake 5
^ Haha
BethiiGeex 0
Prick.
moogzorz 0
I'm gonna kill a wombat with a chili pepper. try and stop me
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
wombats are ferocious little buggers I'd like to see you try kill one with a chilli
Einstein714 0
maybe biscuit boy would be better
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
he could of called you muff cabbage
sourgirl101 29
Or muff diver.
fakeaccountX 6
"My muffin hasn't had a cherry since 1939."
MissErikaHart 0
cuz I'm lovin with my muffin
dogcolon 0
Lol I wouldn't take it as an insult. Everyone knows that the muffin tops are the best part of the muffin, therefore you are the best girlfriend no?
seanders 10
Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer:)
sydneybeau 7
'love muffin'? really? he's a man, give him a sexy name. something that's gonna turn him on! not love muffin..
TheOriginalKyrs 0
78 - I know that from somewhere?!?! Where?!?!?!
NatDancer2010 0
that's when you say ah touché good sir.. :)
NatDancer2010 0
120 - Betty white skit from snl :))
Mehness 0
96 - I know that you know what it really means, but even so, reeaaaaalllllyyyyyyy?
erikb5 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you might wanna exercise to lose some weight then he can't say anything
QwertyMcNugget 0
ADVENTURE TIME! :OOOOO
DocBastard 40
See DocBastard's rule #4.
ChubbyCake 5
Jake!
caester9 0
Not a real fml, get over it.
caester9 0
Wow some prick moderated my comment, even though it's my own opinion
AlterCreed 0
ydi fatass
zinoxity 23
I agree. But I found this super hilarious!
sweet_candy_ 17
P90X :)
beanerboy707 0
insanity!
louie111887 0
dude! I was gonna say that too when I saw her P90x comment! lol. INSANITY!!
fritz2 0
you look like a man, why would anyone want to know about your hair/name.
sweet_candy_ 17
Someone is having a bad day :(
biskitbukit 7
She doesn't look like a man at all, she's quite cute :)
evig_fml 16
64 when did they make fml compatible with blind people? (this comment was in offense of 64 please no comments)
ILuvToFu2 0
everything is bigger in Canada!
KingDingALing 9
Ask him if you can call him "needle dick".
MidgetMonster 0
awesome.
fml98kevin 4
The waterboy... is EPiC
a_girl_i_know 0
now that was mean :(
tuskenboy15 0
no you are redonculous
Fortuitous 0
This FML is rewriting the talking muffin joke.
Charlotteeexx 0
haven't heard that one?
Fortuitous 0
Okay, Sirin, why was I moderated? I didn't say anything derogatory about the FML! :(
PBaandJay 0
aha YDI how awkward would that be ? 'Hey love muffin !' . . . I know u were trying to be romantic, but. . . Eww .
perdix 31
Maybe you can call him Harvey Whalebanger. Sometimes a plumpa humpa's sense of humor can seem cruel, but hey, fatties like you don't have lots of them to choose from, so suck it up and be glad you've got someone.