Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML
The Conquest of Bread
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML
Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip. FML
Charming
Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML
Today, I finally addressed why my boyfriend started calling me "love bug" since we haven't used pet names in the entirety of our 2 year relationship. His response? "because I love you but you bug the shit out of me. It seemed appropriate." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Yummy
Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Top comments
thefranks 0
ahhh makin love in the bakery
KingDingALing 9
Ask him if you can call him "needle dick".
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Comments (174)
iheart 0
that would be a no...
penguinazul 13
^^ this. The girl was probably just being silly; it did not call for such a rude reply.
TheOtherNewest1 6
You deserve it for thinking a man would enjoy being called "love muffin."
TaylorTotsYumm 10
I guess he won't be loving your muffin for a while. :P
Malfunktyn24 0
LIFESAVERS MUFFINTOP COMMERCIAL=HUGE WIN!!!! MUST WATCH!
adorkable_spazz 0
YDI
FirstBornUnicorn 0
Mmm. Muffins.
ADoolittle 0
What an asshole..
evilshade 0
Omg he's liek such an azz dump him!!! U go gurl
TheNewGuy03 29
everyone calling this dude an asshole has no sense of humor. she really did open herself up for that, amongst other things... |the kid|