Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML
Today, I finished a full marathon and just wanted to relax and get pampered by my husband afterwards. Instead, I spent the evening taking care of him and his back because he had a spasm. Don't worry, he feels much better now. Meanwhile, I can’t move my legs. FML
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
Today, my husband is miserable. He couldn't sleep. He tried to make me feel bad for sleeping through the night. I was medicated from a brain scan. His is work is horrible, and no one understands, etc. He's mad that I took a walk. Now, as I am frustrated and crying, he is laughing on the phone with his coworkers. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML
Today, after spending two days pampering my sick fiancee and her sick son, they were finally feeling better. I woke up feeling rotten and said I needed to rest. She said, "Okay, but I want to deep clean today. Let's go! Out of bed! Up up!" FML
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Top comments
kevsnev 7
Well he better appreciate your help because you sound like a wonderful woman!
HairyPunisher 27
Just because he's her husband doesn't mean they have children.
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Comments (95)
Paco_el_Taco 17
Well just lie on your back and let him do the rest.
Drizzelhell 3
We r guys all u gotta do is leave us in the bathroom with our head over the bathtub and will be fine. Maybe a horribal crick in the neck but better then loosen sleep. Well other than that he better thank u for what ya did.
AKGirlinSD 20
Very true! Most puking women demand someone to stay in the bathroom with them, hold their hair, bring them water, comfort them while they cry about something unimportant and act as if it is a party/bonding experience for everyone involved. Most drunk men just puke and pass out on the floor.
mrsstaken 12
This is why when my husband gets drunk I send him to the guest room! I have two kids I have to take care of every day and refuse to take care of a drunk man! He got himself drunk, you should have let him take care of himself... They always wake up refreshed the next morning. Next time just get your rest too!
juicifer 0
He's a very lucky man...junk punch him...
B3Y0ND 3
For some reason he reminds me of a puppy. Probably because of the fact he is "bounding with energy" after your night of rest, or lack thereof.
ily0109 0
Make him take care of you!
Teabubbles 8
I would make sure he uses his "bounding with energy" and treat you to a back massage or something. You deserve good treatment for being a good wife! :)
JaysFanStu 3
Rumour has it Frank Sinatra once said "I feel sorry for people who don't drink, because when they wake up in the morning, that's the best they're gonna feel all day". So next time join him!
TheEpicPies 15
At least you helped him... :)
Kbearlove23 0
Men cant survive without us women (: