Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML
Today, I finished a full marathon and just wanted to relax and get pampered by my husband afterwards. Instead, I spent the evening taking care of him and his back because he had a spasm. Don't worry, he feels much better now. Meanwhile, I can’t move my legs. FML
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
Today, my husband is miserable. He couldn't sleep. He tried to make me feel bad for sleeping through the night. I was medicated from a brain scan. His is work is horrible, and no one understands, etc. He's mad that I took a walk. Now, as I am frustrated and crying, he is laughing on the phone with his coworkers. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML
Today, after spending two days pampering my sick fiancee and her sick son, they were finally feeling better. I woke up feeling rotten and said I needed to rest. She said, "Okay, but I want to deep clean today. Let's go! Out of bed! Up up!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kevsnev 7
Well he better appreciate your help because you sound like a wonderful woman!
HairyPunisher 27
Just because he's her husband doesn't mean they have children.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (95)
JiggaJayZ 16
You did your job well :)
kevsnev 7
Well he better appreciate your help because you sound like a wonderful woman!
chance16 0
She Sounds damn good to me to :) this time get shit faced an make him take care of u lol
skoob1 12
How was he sick and vomiting without a hangover?
AKGirlinSD 20
2, I bet she did this often, before they got married, so he immediately knew she was a keeper. I can't blame him :). 80, If you puke up enough and hydrate yourself, you can skip the hangover phase.
inkedav 8
Sounds like a sign. Start drinking. ;)
MCRaddict15 15
It's the opposite of a sign. Why would you start drinking after you realize it sucks to be hungover..?
Pandacupcakelove 26
18- I'll take a wild guess and say that 3 was joking?
baddawg365 0
18- Op also said SHE was exhausted while her DRUNK husband feels full of energy and happiness. So your statement is invalid because according to Op the morning after us amazing, while the alcohol induced vomit sucks.
inkedav 8
If she drank with him she wouldn't be tired and would be bounding with energy like him.. She wouldn't be writing this FML if she DID drink.
dellis44 7
Well it is fathers day, so he better appreciate all the stuff you did for him!
HairyPunisher 27
Just because he's her husband doesn't mean they have children.
amunnra 14
Maybe they don't have children, but maybe OP's husband is one of those guys that shouts "Who's your daddy?!" in bed. Just saying.
dellis44 7
Haha yeah, my comments usually suck. I'm used to it. Hahaha
joenuuuuu 0
That didnt make sense
OnlyOnFML 0
That bottle is looking pretty good right about now, isn't it?
UnloadedChexmix 1
Time to see if drinking together helps with your waking moments.
thejewishfuhrer 17
Or helps them throw up together.
isaiaah 6
Ah husbands, next time, get drunk with him! Then neither of you have to take care of the other.
i_canlickmyelbow 3
Nope. They'll just both die together from choking to death on their vomit.
jizzwold 21
Just like god intended.
KMtheDrummer 6
Natural selection at work.
XKXKKXK 10
Make him earn your love. Request massages.
COOL__Coal 12
At least you have the conscious to at least care for your husband on fathers day.
FlavorlessPie 7
His turn!