Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML
Today, I finished a full marathon and just wanted to relax and get pampered by my husband afterwards. Instead, I spent the evening taking care of him and his back because he had a spasm. Don't worry, he feels much better now. Meanwhile, I can’t move my legs. FML
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
Today, my husband is miserable. He couldn't sleep. He tried to make me feel bad for sleeping through the night. I was medicated from a brain scan. His is work is horrible, and no one understands, etc. He's mad that I took a walk. Now, as I am frustrated and crying, he is laughing on the phone with his coworkers. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML
Today, after spending two days pampering my sick fiancee and her sick son, they were finally feeling better. I woke up feeling rotten and said I needed to rest. She said, "Okay, but I want to deep clean today. Let's go! Out of bed! Up up!" FML
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Top comments
kevsnev 7
Well he better appreciate your help because you sound like a wonderful woman!
HairyPunisher 27
Just because he's her husband doesn't mean they have children.
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Comments (95)
littlebluepill 1
Hell no! Self inflicted pain, he should be outside with a bucket on his own - no way do I look after my husband when he's chosen to get himself that hammered.
amm42 9
OP here, I never actually knew this got posted until recently! Just to clarify, what I didn't know was the vomiting was not from being too drunk. I had been out and came home to him and one of our best friends having a grand old time with some 18 year scotch. I thought they had been drinking for hours, turns out they had just poured their first drinks. The sick was VILE and my hubby was fairly certain the next morning it was something he had eaten that caused it. He also had no memory of the night before...which knowing him for almost 20 years I had not seen happen before or since! Once I explained he was very sweet and let me sleep while he made coffee and breakfast. The comments were hilarious though, thanks everyone!
cskeet 17
this has happened to me more than once...then he complains about me being "no fun" the next day.
carbonbasedcynic 17
amazing. he had no hangover whatsoever it sounds like