Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML
Today, I finished a full marathon and just wanted to relax and get pampered by my husband afterwards. Instead, I spent the evening taking care of him and his back because he had a spasm. Don't worry, he feels much better now. Meanwhile, I can’t move my legs. FML
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
Today, my husband is miserable. He couldn't sleep. He tried to make me feel bad for sleeping through the night. I was medicated from a brain scan. His is work is horrible, and no one understands, etc. He's mad that I took a walk. Now, as I am frustrated and crying, he is laughing on the phone with his coworkers. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML
Today, after spending two days pampering my sick fiancee and her sick son, they were finally feeling better. I woke up feeling rotten and said I needed to rest. She said, "Okay, but I want to deep clean today. Let's go! Out of bed! Up up!" FML
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Top comments
kevsnev 7
Well he better appreciate your help because you sound like a wonderful woman!
HairyPunisher 27
Just because he's her husband doesn't mean they have children.
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Comments (95)
cyborgmexican 6
IMPROBABLE!!!
Hiimhaileypotter 53
INCONCEIVABLE! Sorry folks. That was the first thing I thought of ^_^
cyborgmexican 6
IMPROBABLE!!!
notsorandomguy 18
Why does the repost have less thumbs down than the first?
quontag 15
Not anymore
HairyPunisher 27
It sucked reading this comment the first time and it sucks reading it twice.
SkoomaKi 28
You need some redbull or coffee, maybe even some sweets. That'll get you bounding with energy with your husband ;D
Dracoboxer357 36
14- *Has the urge to playfully tease you about needing coffee to hinder comments regarding tampons while not on your period......let's it pass....*. ;)
littlemsweirdo 12
I meant her life sucks not fyl *
Trisha_aus 15
Or a relaxing bath and sleep will work too.
SkoomaKi 28
#19 - Bastardo! I will personally see to it that any stupid comment you make, I will make a record of it and remind you of it over and over ;)
Ozuru 11
FYL because you're tired? These fml's are getting weak.
littlemsweirdo 12
Fyl because she is so tired that she can hardly move. Do you have any idea how that feels?!
bubbywaldo 0
Plus possibly her husband is am ungrateful alcoholic.
Dracoboxer357 36
Since the roles are now reversed, and the original situation was caused by him in the first place, perhaps he'll let you sleep in and maybe even serve you lunch in bed? Only in the perfect world, I imagine, fair as it would be. :p Sorry Op, fyl.
littlemsweirdo 12
If he truly appreciates your help he would make you breakfeast! Hint hint * You sound like an amazing wife by the way, well done !
Pandacupcakelove 26
Atleast your work paid off! For him... Still, though! :)
ManInTheMachine 20
UNNACCEPTABLE! You should DEMAND he care to your every need because of that! Bullwhip the bastard! No, not really. But he should be appreciative and do a little extra for you. Don't worry, you'll be on your feet in no time OP! And hopefully this won't be a vicious cycle.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
You're a really good wife for that. You're more patient than I am.
TheDrifter 24
It's his ONE day, and he doesn't even get a pass? I'll bet you even bought him tools so he could fix or make all that stuff on the "honey do" list you created didn't you?
Trisha_aus 15
Wow Drifter what did your wifey do?
dominic1221 6
Probably asked to be treated like an equal, hahaha. If you don't get it: Drifter's pretty much your standard right-wing sexist douche.
TheDrifter 24
Hey, I am far from standard, and I prefer "traditional". Guess other "men" appreciate to do lists and tools as gifts more than I do, I thought it would be a good joke.