Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML
Today, I finished a full marathon and just wanted to relax and get pampered by my husband afterwards. Instead, I spent the evening taking care of him and his back because he had a spasm. Don't worry, he feels much better now. Meanwhile, I can’t move my legs. FML
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
Today, my husband is miserable. He couldn't sleep. He tried to make me feel bad for sleeping through the night. I was medicated from a brain scan. His is work is horrible, and no one understands, etc. He's mad that I took a walk. Now, as I am frustrated and crying, he is laughing on the phone with his coworkers. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML
Today, after spending two days pampering my sick fiancee and her sick son, they were finally feeling better. I woke up feeling rotten and said I needed to rest. She said, "Okay, but I want to deep clean today. Let's go! Out of bed! Up up!" FML
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Top comments
kevsnev 7
Well he better appreciate your help because you sound like a wonderful woman!
HairyPunisher 27
Just because he's her husband doesn't mean they have children.
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Comments (95)
Forlorn420 9
Well at least HE had a fun night? Tell him it's your turn next weekend!
SadIife 6
It's alright, at least you are a devoted and caring partner. On the other hand, hopefully this isn't the usual way your husband behaves or you'll suffer some marital problem but kudos to you for taking care of him.
SadIife 6
Problems* my bad
TheIchiban 11
If I were you OP I would demand he clean the house, and all these horrible chores.
jjmiller1001 17
YdI for taking care of his dumb ass!
olpally 33
Yeah, how dare she be a loving wife and putting up with his imperfections! You, my friend, are an asshat... Think before you speak, or better yet, read the FML again.
mightymart 5
He should be taking care of you if hes not a complete drunken ass#%* le
trucker67 10
Don't worry the hangover will catch up to him in a few hours and he will feel like a bag of crap too at which point you can kick his ass to the couch to recover while you spend the day sleeping .
__itsonlyyou 5
Hahaha, badass. Could use a goat? .-.
ihaveFMLfeverr 5
Now he should take care of you
chrystalthequeen 8
It was very kind of you to take care of your husband but maybe he should stop drinking...
Ray_of_midnight 23
I dunno. Just because someone got drunk once in a great while, doesn't mean they have a problem. Last time I got shitfaced it was because I wasn't aware of how much I was drinking. I had neglected to notice the size of the martinis the bar was serving ("fishbowl") and their strength (beyond "dry" and more like "arid"). Drank two and after part of a third my friends poured me into a cab. Thankfully I didn't say or do anything I had to apologize for the next day. Ouch. :-(