Today, I walked in on my nineteen-year-old stepson masturbating into a pair of my panties. His excuse? He thought they belonged to my 17-year-old daughter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Today, I walked in on the 13 year-old boy I babysit masturbating while sniffing my jacket. FML
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I took my boys over to their grandmother’s house. We had a nice supper together. We all talked, played board games, and watched TV. After a while, I couldn’t find my 13 year-old son. He was in his 67 year-old grandmother’s master bathroom, jerking off with her dirty granny panties. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML
Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I found out where all my expensive bras and panties have been disappearing to. Apparently, while I'm at work, my fifteen year-old son's girlfriend has been stealing them after they have sex in my bed. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 17 year-old son masturbating. He froze, raised his hand and tried to use the "force" to remove the memory. I'm regretting ever having let him watch Star Wars. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
This is the part where you tell him all about her recent bouts of explosive diarrhoea in as much detail as possible. That'll discourage him from touching her (and by extension your) underthings for quite a long time.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Well, he's not related to either of you, so it's not illegal, but tell him to stop soiling underwear that isn't his. And if, for whatever reason, your daughter becomes interested in him, make sure they practice safe sex.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (34)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Well, he's not related to either of you, so it's not illegal, but tell him to stop soiling underwear that isn't his. And if, for whatever reason, your daughter becomes interested in him, make sure they practice safe sex.
kricket5 19
It may not be illegal, but it’s incredibly disrespectful and disgusting. So ******* gross.
fjvitt 14
It’s still whacked...
1known 34
It can be illegal. Depends where you live. And it is morally not right.
cazziuz1983 9
Your moral right may not be the next person's moral right.. That's part of today's issues with society, that being said...while I personally don't like the ideal of theft... I highly doubt he would have kept them probably did what he was gonna do then throw them in the laundry basket. It's not that gross, disrespectful.. I would think that is a given.
TxKitten79 10
At the very LEAST, he stole her panties. Theft is illegal. Secondly, in some states, it is illegal. Thirdly, it's gross and disrespectful, not to mention ******* creepy to steal intimate items regardless of how you use them. Gross!
Dave_Davington 34
This is the part where you tell him all about her recent bouts of explosive diarrhoea in as much detail as possible. That'll discourage him from touching her (and by extension your) underthings for quite a long time.
008GGG 14
Umm... no it won’t.
Dave_Davington 34
Don't you ******* dare ever question me again, or I'll go to your house and shit in your mailbox.
008GGG 14
Clearly you never knew or have forgotten what it’s like to be a horny teenage male. Not saying it’s right, but no tales of shit is going to make him stop using those as props.
Dave_Davington 34
Oh, that's it. Now you've done it. I'm coming over there and I'm going to ruin both yours and your mailman's day.
acmariner99 25
And here I thought pornhub was supposed to show unrealistic expectations of sexual relationships.
Shaik Shamir 7
Maybe the kid was doing the entire thing in hopes of getting "caught"
fjvitt 14
Cue Bong-chikka-bong music...
whiskey'swino 15
And now they are trash. Maybe get him a pack of tube socks for Christmas?
RichardPencil 32
This is the beginning of about half the MILF **** plots. Or so I’ve heard...
distortedcognition 17
Boy, I bet family dinners are going to get awkward!
PenguinPal3017 19
Now that's what I call a sticky situation!
fjvitt 14
Maybe he should try your old boyfriends’ boxers???
ojosRojos 28
Lots to unpack here. O.o
Fickle 6
Take him to Victoria Secrets and as gift purchase him some of his own, that way he will leave yours and your daughters alone. Who knows how many pairs he has soiled for the both of you. Ewww