Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML
Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML
Today, at 2 in the morning, my water broke. I called my mom and woke her up to come watch our older kid, while my husband and I went to the hospital. After being tested at the hospital, I was told I had just peed myself. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and I went to pee at 2 a.m., with the light off to avoid waking my husband. The wanker had left the seat up, so I fell right into the bowl and got stuck with my cheeks in the water because my belly wouldn’t let me get up. My useless sleeping husband couldn’t hear me yell for help. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FalloutScrolls 25
1) Congratulations on your baby. 2) Good for you, marking your territory like that.
happypenguins 24
That really sucks op but congratulations on the baby!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (65)
happypenguins 24
That really sucks op but congratulations on the baby!
zimsim 16
Hey it's not your fault. Blame your child when he's older. ?
jesterinperil 28
Embarrassing, yes, but I'm sure your boyfriend will understand. Congrats on the baby!
emeraldarcher74 30
I hope he didn't get PISSED OFF! Heh? Get it? ... No? K, I'll show myself to the door.
MidnaLink 35
Please do.
hellobobismyname 24
Knock knock! Who's there? #5's pun! Piss off! .....
HeavyWeaponsGuy 21
*opens door for #31*
EmileeDuplin 4
Well, we know he got PISSED ON
aminehs 10
He should have been more pulling you that, given that you're pregnant. Congratulations on the baby :D
SpyroMello 29
Pregnant women aren't wet paper, a gentle tug won't hurt them.
gladow 9
That will make for a great story to tell them when they're older. Congratulations!
FalloutScrolls 25
1) Congratulations on your baby. 2) Good for you, marking your territory like that.
domolovesyoshi 33
That's how you do it.
cole66 14
at least you peed on him and not some one else! and congrats on the baby!
adiesso 5
awwwe haha this is gonna be a really funny nd cute story hope he laughed it off.
CrazyChiC42 10
Two words: panty liners. You can even get reusable cloth ones. One more word: kegels. They strengthen your pelvic muscles which will help with the birth, bladder control, and erm... intimacy.