Today, I saw my ex. I was sure he’d be miserable, but he looked happier than I’ve seen him in a long time. He somehow even looked younger, as did the woman he was on a date with, who’s a good 10 years younger than me. Meanwhile, I’ve gained 25 pounds trying to quit smoking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after seven months apart, I agreed to meet with my ex, wondering if he'd changed. He sure did. He lost a ton of weight and picked up several new hobbies. He also picked up a 23 year-old new girlfriend. She's slimmer and prettier than I'll ever be. I threw my drink in his face and left in tears. FML
Today, I saw my friend's ex and noticed she had gained a ton of weight since he dated her and had been dating someone else. It reminded me of my friend, so I messaged him and made a joke about her being unrecognizable. He informed me that they started seeing each other again last week. FML
Today, I found out my ex-husband quit smoking and went back to school for his new girlfriend. I’d been behind his ass getting him to stop his bad habits for the entire year and a half of our marriage, and he didn’t wanna do it. Nice to know he wanted to be a better man… for someone else. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend who dumped me after 2 1/2 years because I got fat. The last two years I've lost 68 lbs, am happier and couldn't wait to shove that in his face. So, of course the first time he sees me I'm alone, I'm pushing a shopping cart full of ice cream for a party later. FML
Today, at the library, I saw my ex for the first time in two years, about 100lbs lighter and super hot. She’s engaged now. I asked her why she couldn’t do that for me when we were together. She replied, “Because my man loved me at my worst, unlike you. So he deserves me at my best. Have a nice day.” and walked away. FML
Today, I finally met the guy I've been talking to online for a year. I'd dropped 10lbs off my weight. He'd shaved 20 years off his age. FML
Today, I learned that my ex married the girl he cheated on me with and started a family. I’m still single at 30 years old - Five years after that relationship ended. I still live at home and I’ve gained so much weight from the depression that guys find me repulsive. Glad to know my ex did so much better. FML
Today, I went out on a date with an ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex-girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML
Today, after my ex helped me drop over a hundred pounds, I broke up with him because I looked and felt so much better, and knew I could do better. Turns out he was the only thing keeping me slim, as I've put back on over twenty pounds. I asked him to take me back and he told me to fuck off. FML
Today, I pulled up my ex's socials so my girls and I could laugh at the gross fat chick he's dating now. I ended up crying because he looks so much happier with her than he was with me. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
Usually, “Ex’s” are over and you are better off to not obsess about them. Move on…
RichardPencil 32
Misery loves company. Too bad your guy wasn't crushed over losing you. Maybe he's got a little Gloria Gaynor in him!
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
Misery loves company. Too bad your guy wasn't crushed over losing you. Maybe he's got a little Gloria Gaynor in him!
Chazzster 32
Usually, “Ex’s” are over and you are better off to not obsess about them. Move on…
Darthbane2007 19
This is about the third or so FML on here where someone attempts to look up their Ex/Bully while wishing ajd hoping that they are miserable and find that they are doing relatively well in life. If they can do better, why can't you?
OfficialMrD 3
Wishing somebody to be miserable without you… you totally deserved this
wrenavery90 12
I'm wondering why you were sure he'd be miserable.