Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, at 32 weeks pregnant, I found my boyfriend passed out face down in his own vomit. Not only does our freshly-painted game room now smell like a dirty bar, but he also let our 2 strictly indoor cats outside. They have yet to return. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Today, I am two months pregnant. Being super hormonal, I was crying about how much I was crying. My husband put his arms around me to comfort me, and I sobbed so hard that I threw up all over him. FML
Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
zp5 4
boyfriend: "hey guys, i farted and it smelled so bad that my girlfriend threw up all over the coffee table. LOL!" his friends: "whoooa that is so cool." "that is awesome." "hilarious." "i wish my farts smelled that bad!"
TryptamineDreame 0
You should give him one of your rotten pregnancy farts right in his mouth while he's sleeping. He probably wouldn't be laughing then.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (221)
anlhawks 5
he's classy. def a keeper.
xLil_Mx 0
Epic moment indeed ^^
imagooch 0
that is EPIC! :) LOL
wriptidez 0
hes a fart face
OddHatter 0
"Thanks", Moron, for breeding with said idiot.
Andy4443 0
Wat an awesome story
Malfunktyn24 0
@64, Along with Twilight fans, I throw rocks stupid girls like you. Chill out and google the word "sarcasm" and "humor".
jeffswife 0
This is why we make sure we are with people we want to be MARRIED to before having kids.
jeffswife 0
And now that I saw your post, I might add a few things: 23 is old enough to know what birth control is and USE it. Look at the divorce rate? Look at the number of single moms who get to hound some guy for child support for 18 years because he started off as a "loving, mature partner." You have jobs. NOW. When said baby is born, ONE of you will have a job. Either that or you'll find a relative to pawn your kid off on while you take refuge at a part time job to hide from your responsibilities as a mom. Making 9 bucks an hour doesn't really constitute "stable." Men don't change. Your boyfriend obviously has some respect issues and that isn't going to happen now if it hasn't already. This is why you start off with a good one. I'm 22, a mother of a toddler and another blessing on the way, PLANNED my children, oh..and married 4 years this month. I may be younger than you but at least I'm smart enough to do what's right by my kids. Raising babies takes a team of two level headed parents and you clearly both have work to do. Good luck. :)
laden_swallow09 35
^^ THIS would constitute as "epic"
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
OK, who let the supercilious nitwits out of their cage again? -.-
bordinmama 0
this is funny, natural bodily function. lol any pregnant person knows your sense of smell increases. my boyfriend does the same thing to me. it's gross yes but after you're done being mad at him u laugh about it. as for the whole comment about her using birthcontrol you don't know if this pregnancy was planned or not. people have children and can be amazing parents. I was a single mom at the age of 16 raised my child worked full time and went to school. pawning your kid off to relatives to escape the responsibilities. not everyone can afford to not work and stay at home with their children. it's called trying to provide for your child and make sure they have everything they need.
pdp_fml 21
I was laughing at your story. Your bf should have apologized to you and cleaned up your mess. Men tend to be quite crude. My wife of 36 years just ignores me most of the time or runs away when I fart next to her.