Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML
Today, for the first time, I made a guy get a boner and make out with me. This would've been great if it hadn't been a dream, and if the guy in question hadn't been my brother. FML
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML
Today, I went on a second date with a girl that I like and had a really good time while with her. We got pretty drunk and then went back to mine. When things started to get sexy, I accidentally called her by her sister's name. A girl I don’t even know. FML
Today, at 19 years of age, I finally saw a nude girl in real life. Specifically, my sister. FML
Today, I told my ex I was going to bed after a few drinks, and she ended up fucking my brother while I was asleep. What an awakening to hear. FML
Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML
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Top comments
KayDee29 31
I believe she incests on you performing unspeakable acts. I would just avoid her for a few years.
lostinareverie 21
Better a drunk text to you than some sleazy guy who would take advantage and such.
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Comments (147)
Cads1 24
Unlucky
Spentpoet 26
He took her home alright. Home to sleep it off where she can be safe
RedPillSucks 33
I can see the next FML. Today, I drunk text my boyfriend that I was going to **** his brains out. Woke up the next morning next to my brother whom I'd mistakenly dialed. FML
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I was about to post the same thing. Seems likely to be the most likely explanation.
reyelisaia 15
I hope she sent that text to the wrong person.
Mossygirl357 12
I'm sure that was not meant for you
Witchylady 18
That's a little frightening. That even drunk she is having sexual feelings towards you. Lock your door.
ToxicTyrael 26
She's more likely to have these feelings WHEN drunk. Would be more of a problam when she feels that way even sober.
chewebb 8
...gross
Teyros 24
Well.. That's not a good way for any girl to show interest anyway. Maybe it's a silver lining it's your sister. Some other girl could say that and be batshit crazy. No normal girl does that anyways..
oobergoober89 16
Lock your door and hope you two are never drunk at the same time
Brandi_Faith 34
This made me laugh. I can just picture the conversation, Op: "hey sis, are you drinking tonight? Sis: "Ya." Op: "looks like I'm going sober tonight." Or... Sis: "hey bro, you can't drink tonight cause I am." Op: "but it's my turn." Sis: "well I'm drinking tonight, so do whatever you want." Op: "nevermind, sober it is"
Smellyy 19
Wincest?