Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML
Today, for the first time, I made a guy get a boner and make out with me. This would've been great if it hadn't been a dream, and if the guy in question hadn't been my brother. FML
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML
Today, I went on a second date with a girl that I like and had a really good time while with her. We got pretty drunk and then went back to mine. When things started to get sexy, I accidentally called her by her sister's name. A girl I don’t even know. FML
Today, at 19 years of age, I finally saw a nude girl in real life. Specifically, my sister. FML
Today, I told my ex I was going to bed after a few drinks, and she ended up fucking my brother while I was asleep. What an awakening to hear. FML
Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
KayDee29 31
I believe she incests on you performing unspeakable acts. I would just avoid her for a few years.
lostinareverie 21
Better a drunk text to you than some sleazy guy who would take advantage and such.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (147)
shino411cute 13
That's great should make for fun black mail materal
Cassandra2015 21
That's super awkward . Her mistake costed her a FML post .
Hime9908 22
I really hope OP shows her this fml
Krystal3408 32
That's FHL too. Both of you will now have to avoid conversations with each other for the rest of your lives.
laden_swallow09 35
She won't remember anything about it, tomorrow. That means only OP needs to try to forget, unless he's already asked her what the deal is; in which case, the point is moot.
Awkward4thewin 11
She must have drank an incessive amount of alcohol
Jonkbaby 23
more like an incestive amount
Funkshin 5
yes #125
tehdarkness 21
Well it's probably better for her that she got the wrong number. You should get her drunk ass home before she ***** someone stupid.
Brandi_Faith 34
Assuming it was a wrong number and not meant for him. I certainly hope it was, or else that's just creepy.
ToxicTyrael 26
Maybe she is super desperate. Then the alcohol lowers her shame and BOOM she asks her brother for something she wouldn't do when sober.
kesht1996 12
Did not see that coming
Charles900 16
Ok, that's messed up. I really hope she was intending to send it to someone else.
jayemerald17 25
Drunk actions are sober thoughts ...
Cads1 24
Despite what they say, not all lips are the same in the dark. On the other hand, he is Victorian which is very close to Tasmanian. He just learnt how to swim.
Brandi_Faith 34
That statement is so not true. Drunk people tend to lose their normal thought process and end up doing the stupidest things. Doesn't mean that what they say or do was what they intended or meant to. The alcohol completely alters thoughts and actions.
VeryMuchDutch 12
indeed... they follow their feelings and their lusts
Ritokage 3
#90 no. after reaching a certain point of alcohol consumption it's just their lust and impulses that they are following
limegreenpoopie 31
Well, this may be your only time :P
alex_gen 39
Drunken texts are sober thoughts, no?