Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Wasted moment
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
The wrong kind of banging
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
I did a sex
Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML
Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML
With friends like these…
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
It wasn't me
Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML
Top comments
zebra_pillow 0
why would you f**k a drunk girl anyways that's like rape
its_milly_silly 0
YDI for trying to get it from a drunk chick... so... wrong!
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Comments (169)
zebra_pillow 0
why would you f**k a drunk girl anyways that's like rape
sucks4you09 0
he's that desperate!!!!
IDKWhatHappened 0
YDI for thinking you were going to get laid. You FTL!
brianred5 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that was your chance what she wasn't conscious for wouldn't hurt her
jellybean120 10
why did he stay watching her? he could've just gone home. idiot!
ipts 0
shoulda just hit that anyways.
iSwag 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
she knew what she was doing and had you had sex with her then she would be more comfortable having sex with you again while sober...just sayin
DGross 8
First off, YDI for wanting to take advantage of her However, that being said, maybe he stayed to make sure she was ok... If I brought a girl back like that I would probably stay close by too b/c back in HS one of my friends (not a close one but i knew him) got drunk and chocked on his own vomit b/c everyone thought he would sleep it off...
Cmc520 0
I agree. it happen to my cuzin. iswag
Blue_Coconuts 7
That's why you roll them to their side, #34. It's the same with babies.
FireNinja 3
coulda, woulda, shoulda.
Tranceluvr69 0
holy shit I think I know you! are you from NJ?
supastarr 0
I would of slapped dat bitch and told her ass to wake up
DGross 8
yea #50... where do I know you from? fml... bringing people together everyday
joneramone 0
pig
sucksforyoudude 0
no! that IS rape! what a selfish prick! trying to take advantage of a drunk girl.
fmlsoobad 0
couldn't say it better 23
isreal 0
u should have pulled the car over when she was awake and went in on her and if she wanted to do it it's not rape
isreal 0
u are evil
Fatalally 4
Wow OP, if your that desperate that you have to sleep with a drunk girl, then your seriously mental. I hope she finds out about this incident and kicks your ass for even thinking to have sex with her. You sir, need to get an f'in life.
zach055 23
You should have done her in the car
Zills 0
shouldve got some head before dropping her off. what happens to the unconcious they never need to know..
FYLorYDIohno 12
iswag is cute!
StoryOfTheYear 15
don't really see were he says he ****** her?
KingTata 0
in case she threw up and choked on it
HeresReality 0
dude if she was into you while she was awake you still could have ****** her while she was asleep
Secret_Fire_King 0
This is the true story, how it really went. OP had to leave out a few details, though: "Today, I was actually gunna score with a hot chick. I kinda suspected that she was intoxicated, not just because she was slurring her words, but because she really seemed to want to **** me. Outrageous. So, I tell her to wait until we get to the motel, down the road. After purchasing lubricant, gloves, a disposable camera, and some whipped cream at the corner store, I come back to find her passed out. How am I supposed to do this by myself? How do you do it? What hole do you put it in? What position are we s'pposed to start off in?. I don't know what to do. I was s'pposed to lose my virginity tonight. I'm too old for this shit. FML"
rachel7482 0
atleast u liked her and it wasn't some ugly girl u barely new...Been there done that it's not fun...she threw up on me FML
rachel7482 0
I mean he threw up on me the dang phone changed it
tencentsakiss 19
Honestly, I hate to let you in on the secret, but she probably did what most of us girls have done at some point when we've been drunk. Are you sure that she wasn't just pretending to pass out so she wouldn't have to deal with you trying to sleep with her? Seriously, horny guys are so annoying sometimes. Why was she so flirty at first? Did I mention we can be ****** for attention, even when we aren't interested. Sorry :/
cincin75 0
u get angel's face, and devil's mind. good luck with that.
tencentsakiss 19
Who me? I do have an evil dirty mind...
mibs3 11
Us guys wouldn't act so horny if you we didn't think we had a chance but we do because you are being ******
UnknownAccess 1
it's still consent. I thinks it's an asshole move but it's still consent.
its_milly_silly 0
YDI for trying to get it from a drunk chick... so... wrong!
mcicycool 0
haha nice. that's what you get for trying to take advantage of a drunk person >< u knw they r not sane
KiDD66 0
oh well YDI cause you were about to have sex with her super drunk and maybe she was just frisky cause she didnt know what she was doing so good thing she just slept!
Dopeyrox 0
Future rapist
The_Norwegian 2
lol
Sports_guy3 28
And the award for 2010 Rapist of the Year goes to...
TsarKeith12 9
Naw dude, current rapist Attempted rapist at least For everyone who doesn't know, sex with a drunk person /is/ rape
gatorgirl7563 22
This guy isn't a rapist, or attempted rapist, or future rapist, or almost rapist. His almost-partner was not only willing, but eager, and he did nothing when she passed out. I am female. When it comes to rape, I don't blame the victim (What was she doing there so late at night?, What did she think would happen when she left the house wearing that?, etc). I recognize the difference between getting a woman drunk and getting her consent. However, I also believe that if a woman (or man) becomes drunk and *wants* to have sex with another person, it just fine to accept, because they are choosing to engage in the act willingly. If a person regrets their drunk sex the morning after, then they shouldn't get so drunk in the first place. While I don't believe in blaming the victim, and the decision to rape or not is 100% the man's choice, sometimes, under certain circumstances like when a victim has acted with exceptional stupidity, the victim deserves to have a small amount blame directed their way. Let's face it: no double standards for anyONE also means no double standards for anyTHING. If a person gets drunk and decided to drive drunk or jumps off their roof or picks a fight or does some other ridiculously stupid thing that results in personal injury or property damage, we say it's totally YDI. So, why is it not totally YDI when a person (regardless of gender) gets drunk and INVITES/OFFERS sex to a person who they might not ordinarily sleep with. Think about it.
coolbeans26 12
How do u know they're drunk n not drugged? And people can drink if they want to and shouldn't be scared of ******* creeps taking advantage. It is rape plain and simple. Someone can go out with her friends that she trusts get wasted then one of her friends take advantage when she passes out it doesn't matter if they "wanted" it or not they r legally not able to consent. If someone wants to **** so bad wait until the morning. Simple as that. Most of the date rape drugs make u seem completely wasted and don't just make u pass out like in the movies
iloveloosy12 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
why is that bad?
bidoof_fml 0
She saved you from making a huge mistake. YDI
qqwweeaa 0
really bone her in the car already
perdix 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Idiot. You should have done it right there in the car. Strike while the iron is hot, I always say. When girls are that drunk, they're going to throw up or pass out any minute. You need to get the party started (and hopefully finished) before one of those inevitable outcomes happens.
george456 0
^this
HighLife89 0
YDI u gotta **** when the times right especially if u wanted her for years. Just get her drunk again and don't mess up.
george456 0
Strike the - um - ass while it's hot.
sugarbabyxoxo 2
lmao @ perdixxx
sourgirl101 29
Please let the people that look up to you know you're joking.
perdix 31
Sourgirl, if people are getting moral guidance from some anonymous commenter on a humor web site, they are in big trouble! I will offer some good advice to consider: If you are a girl who gets so drunk you become "frisky and flirty" with guys you are not interested in, you need to cut down or cut out your alcohol consumption. Bad things will happen if you don't. Are you listening, Ke$ha?
SmellDaPurp 0
perdix, i couldnt agree more.. with both posts. maybe if OP smashed she would learn not to get so wasted
rldostie 19
So you're telling me if someone mugs and murders a drunk guy on the street...it's the drunks guys fault for being too drunk to defend himself? While people should take precautions, it's still not alright for another person to take advantage of a drunk person. If they're too drunk to sign a legal contract, then they're too drunk to consent to sex. Easy fix: don't have sex with drunk people you don't really know.
perdix 31
The murder analogy is too stupid to deal with, but suppose you take your wasted friend home and he tells you to take money out of his wallet for all the trouble he caused you. Would you be wrong in taking it? You know you can't sign a legal contract until you are 18. Are you saying that no one under 18 should have sex? It's a moot point for me, because I'm WAAAYY past 18, but some of the other readers might be fascinated by your point of view.
sammy22 0
ydi-- shouldn't have been thinking in the gutter! I hope she threw up on you for that!
perdix 31
It was close actually. We were making out on the roof and she got up and threw up over the railing. Look out below! She came to my room the next day to apologize. Luckily, I had sobered up enough to be glad we got interrupted the night before. Yikes. I traded in my beer goggles soon thereafter.
perdix 31
They filmed it?!?! I lived it! Where are my ******* royalties?!
BloodyMontage 0
perdix, your king of this website anyways. Isn't that enough?
Zills 0
a pimp needs his cash
perdix 31
BloodyMontage, I wouldn't hoard the money for myself. I would use it to finance magnificent royal balls. I mean parties, big parties for all of the FML people to enjoy. Of course, if I had a little extra money, I could get those comically large testicular implants. Those could be fun.
Sports_guy3 28
#102- Not trying to take anything away from perdix (read my profile), but ever heard of DocBastard?
Bloodbathandbeyo 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
eh just do it anyway, who cares if she's asleep
Ottoman81 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
just tap it. nothing a little spit cant fix. besides she wont remember anything in the morning. take some pics even
Zerizle 19
what the **** is wrong with you
Dakota1458 11
You have a picture of bender as you ask what is wrong with you lol that is great