Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML
Today, for the first time, I made a guy get a boner and make out with me. This would've been great if it hadn't been a dream, and if the guy in question hadn't been my brother. FML
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML
Today, I went on a second date with a girl that I like and had a really good time while with her. We got pretty drunk and then went back to mine. When things started to get sexy, I accidentally called her by her sister's name. A girl I don’t even know. FML
Today, at 19 years of age, I finally saw a nude girl in real life. Specifically, my sister. FML
Today, I told my ex I was going to bed after a few drinks, and she ended up fucking my brother while I was asleep. What an awakening to hear. FML
Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
KayDee29 31
I believe she incests on you performing unspeakable acts. I would just avoid her for a few years.
lostinareverie 21
Better a drunk text to you than some sleazy guy who would take advantage and such.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (147)
Foreverlkjakh9283!@@ 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Did you agree?!?!
Allornone 35
I would hope not.
lulinator 40
He's from Australia, not Alabama.
ohSNAPyall 27
1 is being an idiot. 14 is being a jackass.
lulinator 40
Currently, at least seven people think I'm a funny jackass. :)
Cads1 24
But he is Victorian and that is basically the same as Tasmanian.
britzy_03 19
53 now
laden_swallow09 35
Heh. Now it's a HUNDRED seventeen.
Jonkbaby 23
How was it?
DToast 19
Now 376 likes in total ;)
KayDee29 31
I believe she incests on you performing unspeakable acts. I would just avoid her for a few years.
Shadowvoid 33
I'm just glad someone didn't achieve top comment with the annoying "Wincest" comment. Your comment was petty clever.
KayDee29 31
Although I don't always remember it afterwards, sometimes I speak in puns. It's quite freaky.
Redoxx_fml 22
Unless he's Jamie Lannister in which case "the things I do for love..."
marieisabelle 7
Doesn't matter, had sex?
sammiking 13
Eww
Killswitchknot 20
Eww, your comment.
skatergal99 17
That'll make for interesting supper time conversation
lostinareverie 21
Better a drunk text to you than some sleazy guy who would take advantage and such.
ExtremeEncounter 32
I mean, if OP is bisexual then that makes sense.
Gillett 23
You mean, better a drunk text than a sober one!
Wakachulak 22
#48, Probably someone who was trying to send that text to Brady, but hit the contact below him and never realized it due to being shitfaced.
ChristinePi 36
So depressing that this is the society we live in.
Demon_of_Light 27
48, are you implying it wasn't an accident? Because I think that it's a lot more likely that she clicked the wrong contact than she somehow developed incestual feelings for her brother.
dannnngthatsux 19
Apparently OPs sister!
italyball 12
Are you kidding? I would rather get sleazy texts from a jerk then from a family member. Nope.
whitetiger13131 26
I seriously hope she meant to text someone else
BillMurray_fml 12
Just in time for the new season of Game of Thrones to start tomorrow!
mikepzz 27
Beauty!
tygerarmy 35
Cersie and Jamie Lannister send their regards.
EmperorChowilio 21
The Lannisters approve
hard_candy 25
game of thrones ftw!
kaydove1990 1
Best comment in this whole section!
otecasacid 22
Did you lock your door?
KVYLV 16
OUCH!
sstahpp 33
Ouch what???