Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Attraction
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML
Bang for your buck
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML
Waste of time
Today, I hooked up with a guy. He didn't last 30 seconds before finishing, Then his car wouldn't start. I ended up walking home after a hook up that wasn't worth it. FML
Dodged some bullshit
Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML
Today, I saw a guy at a bar that looked cute. I didn't dare talk to him, though. When I was on my way home, drunkenly singing the entire way, I finally noticed he was walking along behind me. Probably for about 15 minutes. FML
Top comments
A07 48
It could'ave been a honest mistake OP, atleast he didn't cut off a chunk of your hair and ask you to prom?
TiggyBonkers 32
Maybe that happened because you literally just had sex with a man you just met...
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Comments (143)
LennyComa 39
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wow....just wow. That's horrible. forget that jerk and move on
fsomelife 26
Not much to remember or move on from.
fuckedPriceless 17
if anything I'd use it as a way to make some quick money
klipper57 12
Say $100 and be happy that you made some money
sstahpp 33
She probably let him do anal. Easy mistake.
Nickt21 11
Why the **** is this been voted thumbs down what the hell **** all of u I swear every comment on here is voted down
A07 48
It could'ave been a honest mistake OP, atleast he didn't cut off a chunk of your hair and ask you to prom?
Driving_Gaming 22
If he did, she should run fast.
NeatNit 33
I think it's most likely just a bad sense of humor
ulises575 12
This comment is priceless! lmfao
psychopolarbear 28
Regardless, take the money.
tnlander 20
Maybe it was her fire ant strip tease that turned him on.
nelbom1234 8
I love how at some point in the future somebody is gonna see this comment after finding this post on random and they're just not gonna get the joke
hunterjumper88 8
Yeah, and at least he didn't steal all your bottles of shampoo.
roxyroller20 15
I read that FML too XD
ZanderPage 1
Or have a turkey fly into your windshield.
Barthanax 9
I think we've all read the FMLs and everybody is going to think we're crazy.
Blestud 10
I want to be part of this too
sunnyskys 25
LMFAO *DIES* (in class) this shit is going to get my phone taken from me.
lilchica22001 22
At least OP didn't poop so hard that their appendix burst!?! Lol
em_the_g 12
How many likes do you have XD? For me it says 1...
lovethatstach 18
that was me #182
krazy789 28
Here I am a year later #182. I wish I understood the joke.
swanheart 35
Wow - what world does that guy live in that he thinks any woman walking down the street is a prostitute? Haha
onlychildFTW 34
Well in his defense she could have been dressed like the prostitutes in the area. It could be a known area for prostitutes as well. And it does sound too good too be true that it was that easy to get her into bed. Maybe it's just me but I could see him making that as an honest mistake.
DjeePee 25
Don't prostitutes give their prices beforehand? Because, you know, to avoid discussion?
Aimeejasmine 15
#5 aren't we above judging women for their outfits yet? A skirt doesn't scream prostitute ffs ???
jeffandjeff 22
A skirt might not scream prostitute. Her actions of being approached, getting drinks, and then hooking up are justifiably prostitute-like though.
Vestin 18
#74: This is not a gender issue. If you're at a hospital and see a guy in a white coat carrying a stethoscope, it's probably a doctor. ANYONE CAN DRESS LIKE THAT while not being a doctor, but it's implicitly understood anyway. We don't have time to verify every aspect of our lives every time, we take shortcuts and make assumptions. I could go all "more feminist than thou" and call upset people here SWERFs ;P...
Aimeejasmine 15
Oh geez here we go.. It's actually a crime to pretend to be in a vocation you're not licensed in, I was stating how #5 justified the guy's actions because of what she she wearing. The incident was the mans mistake correct, so why find reasons to blame OP for a simple mistake, why blame anyone? It's no ones fault, so excuse me for standing up for OP.
Llama_Face89 34
I have the same issue as OP when I walk down the street in a police officer hat, mustache and banana hammock.
mfmylifesrsly 30
101 I agree with what your saying. But dont most prostitues jump straight to sex instead of getting drinks?
Sparx1_1 16
A skirt does not scream prostitute - but ******* a guy you just met does .....
gintwinsmoore 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ydi- you don't go around sleeping with random ppl just because they're "cute". I'd have thought that about you too.
tygerarmy 35
Maybe you don't. If the OP does or doesn't why do you care? If it makes the OP happy then why the **** not.
nonsensical 26
OP should have gotten out her wallet and said "Wait, I thought YOU were the prostitute. This is awkward." And then they laugh it off and bang again.
ChristinePi 36
That's such a double standard though. Just because she's female and willing to have sex she's a prostitute. There are male prostitute as well.
RainTears 15
#97, He didn't mention anything about her gender at all....just her life style
Brandi_Faith 34
22, because she doesn't know him at all and he could be the type of guy that rapes and kills prostitutes or likes to beat on women, or any number of scary things. I'm not judging her because she had sex, but having sex with someone you just met is a good way to get hurt & just isn't safe, in my opinion.
dewberry2001 25
#97 all male prostitutes are broke because 90% of guys are down for free.
Axel5238 29
Whether or not if OP was a guy or girl, sleeping with someone you don't know these days is more dangerous than it used to be with higher STD rates. Plus you don't know if the person is crazy and would try to stalk you or do something else. I have a friend that while in college slept around quite a bit we warned him to be careful. Thankfully nothing happened, but we had 2 female friends that did the same hook up with random guys and both got an std. Regardless of gender it's potentially dangerous and not something to be proud of. Just cause guys do it doesn't mean it's a good idea and it people criticize it because it's potentially dangerous and it shouldn't be everyone else that has to stick up for someones debatable life choices. I'd expect to get shit for mine. Just because it's a choice doesn't mean it's a good one.
gintwinsmoore 20
That's right, #22...I don't. It's called having high standards and having a high self-esteem. Get some.
badgercheese94 16
#22, its kinda stupid after only one night. You gotta be wary of the guys you choose to sleep with. He might be a cheating asshole who already has a girlfriend, or he might be a total psychopath. Just saying everyone should be careful. Don't be too trusting with people you just met. He might also be the kind of perv to secretly film the sex. Never know anymore lol
EspecialK 3
Exactly. There are entire **** websites dedicated to these situations. There are spy glasses and hidden cameras which are easy to obtain, and often times used to film pornos without the woman knowing. This behavior is just reckless.
TiggyBonkers 32
Maybe that happened because you literally just had sex with a man you just met...
DjeePee 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I love it how women get encouraged to discover and enjoy their sexuality the same way as men are able to do. Really, FML'ers, great work, lovely mentality.
snowflake_3325 7
I think most people figure ydi if you have sex with someone you just met hours before, for either gender.
tygerarmy 35
What's wrong with sex? Everyone should be able to have as much or as little sex as they enjoy.
morgasshk 14
I would think exactly the same and agree with commenter just the same if this happened with opposite sexes... In my opinion, anyone who does random hook ups is bonkers. I've done it, only once and my only regret of my sex life.
aylind 18
21 and 28, it has nothing to do with gender or enjoying sex. I see it as dangerous. You don't even know this person, you've just met them, and you're gonna put yourself in that vulnerable position? Screw that. What if that guy or girl turned out to be some psycho? It's just plain dangerous to hook up with someone you don't even know.
gracehi 33
Yeah, I'd have to agree with 60. When you sleep with strangers, you open yourself up to some crazy shit, no matter who or what you are.
Desi_D123 27
As a woman, I wouldn't have sex with a guy I just met. Not because society is going to judge me (honestly, don't give a shit) but because there are too many psychos out there. At least know someone long enough to Google them.
DjeePee 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If a guy has a one-night-stand, no one would ever link him with prostitution. But a woman who freely wants sex with someone she has not a relationship with? Let's passive-agressively stone that *****! I've slept (as in 'real sleeping', not sex) with people I barely knew. I've hitchhiked with complete strangers. Sure, there's some danger in that, like in almost everything in life. Yet I prefer believing the average person is a decent one, who will not kill/rape you.
gracehi 33
Well, Djpee, I'm glad that you've been fortunate enough that you've never encountered a dangerous person, and I also hope that, if you choose to continue trusting strangers, that you continue to be so fortunate. OP was fortunate enough to have encountered someone who was merely a cruel prankster. (I suspect he knew she wasn't a prostitute, and that he was just making fun of her.) It could have been much worse.
mfmylifesrsly 30
108 I agree with what you're saying but I advise you be more careful since 1 out of every 3 or 4 women is raped.
LastResort318 14
You no that stat is fake right?
annalily5 28
But of those 1 in 4 women, 2/3 are raped by people they know, not strangers.
LastResort318 14
In USA, there was about 250 000 sexual assaults/rapes. Now assuming all of those were rapes and women it still wouldn't equal out 25 percent of the women in America being raped.
cameosurgeon 16
Most sexual assault victims don't report it.
tdawg91 17
Djee pee: i'm glad you're fortunate enough to have met kind strangers but personally, I wouldn't put myself in that situation with a complete stranger and it's pretty dangerous for you to imply that anyone can do it and be fine, most people are kind and perfectly normal but it's that small percentage of psychos that make me NOT put myself in to situations like that.
mfmylifesrsly 30
That statistics fake? I did not know that. That still doesnt change the fact that the girl I made a comment towards shouldn't be careful. Also I know way too many women who have been raped so that's why I believed that statistic.
JohnTheDonJuan 11
#167 your logic is flawed, your comparing a yearly estimate with a lifetime probability. =/=
LastResort318 14
189, if you take 25 percent of the women in America, divide it by the number of the rapes/sexual assaults, it would take 158.6 years to reach it. Remember, some of these rapes/sexual assaults weren't even women, some were women who were raped more then once, and that some of these could be fake.
zBLAKEz 23
And not everyone in that statistic is a woman... I'd like to ask, if we're able to dismiss the factual statistic of how many rapes are reported because victims don't always report them, how can we have a solid statistic of 1 in 4 women being raped? Where's the solid evidence for it? I've seen numerous videos and articles saying that the 1 in 4 statistic is based off of a phone survey from decades ago. The 1 in 4 statistic is so widely used, and yet oddly enough I've never seen a peer reviewed study on it...
Cads1 24
Take it as a compliment. You are the hot in the sack he thinks you are a Pro!
fanartje 17
I mean... free money right?
ontheFLY4 25
I wonder, she never stated she didn't take the money?
VeryMuchDutch 12
you want to earn some free money? ;)
wakemeupplease 21
Nope she earned them with woking hard... getting him hard... idk... anyway it wasn't really free money :D just saying
Purexinsanity 46
#53, if you have to earn it then it's not free money. edit: did not read the comment above me. whoops!
sstahpp 33
Haha where can I EARN sone FREE money??
sophie_foster 13
Well you were kinda wandering through the streets, it was just an honest misconception
prostar9993 15
You's a ho
hushhh 4
Then that makes him a ho too.
Aimeejasmine 15
Everybody likes sex get over yourself ya prude
marcusbjohnson 4
yes it does.
marcusbjohnson 4
everybody would like heroine too if they tried it. but they shouldnt because its dangerous and the sense of euphoria is fleeting.
Aimeejasmine 15
Seriously #84? You're comparing the most natural act we know to a life destroying drug? ?? literally it's only sex.. When practised safely there is nothing dangerous about it ? geez you act like it's illegal
Econforthwin 15
If you go for complete stranger to sexual partner in one afternoon it can get confusing sometimes. I hope you said a fair amount and got some cash.