Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse that somehow got stuck in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead mouse water for the past week. FML
Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Today, I was finishing a bowl of ramen while watching a video. As I scooped up the last bits, I realized the clump of seasoning I had been saving for last was actually a dead fly. FML
Today, I bought a fancy salad for lunch and went to eat it in the park. A strong gust of wind flipped the lid off and launched half the salad into my lap. As I jumped up to shake it off, I slipped on a stray tomato slice, fell backward onto the grass, and watched as a seagull swooped in to eat my croutons. FML
Today, I ordered some food to get delivered. When I opened the bag a fly flew out. FML
Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML
Today, I found maggots in the ketchup on my sausage. Too bad I had already eaten half of it. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy some noodles, but they were out, so I left empty handed. When I left, the store the alarm went off so I was called back in, and they searched my bag. They didn't find any stolen goods. They did find a dead mouse my cat must have left for me, though. FML
Today, I woke up late and in a rush, I grabbed what I thought was a container of leftover spaghetti from the refrigerator to take to work. At lunch, I opened it to find it wasn't spaghetti, but raw marinated chicken my roommate had prepped for dinner. I ended up eating a vending machine sandwich that tasted like cardboard. FML
Today, I decided to make myself a nice meal. I bought expensive pasta and sauce etc. It looked delicious, I decided the finishing touch would be some parmesan cheese. I grabbed the bag and threw a handful of cheese on my meal. The cheese was about 98% mould. FML
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Top comments
mackdeezy 22
Justification to sue. Low end or not, that's unsanitary.
Arrow44 10
I was thinking of suing their wallets, that way I wouldnt get anymore shit from them.
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Comments (106)
Jasmeent11 15
Ratatouille!
DorklyComicFan 8
It was a mouse, not a rat.
Cazz91 21
Stuart Little?
Jasmeent11 15
Was it a rat in the movie? Well pardon me dear sir.
cassey_lea 15
My thoughts exactly! !
perdix 31
If you were: Lazy, you'd remove the mouse and rinse the greens thoroughly before eating. Really lazy, you'd skip the rinsing. Super lazy, you'd eat it, mouse and all.
Sandsh8rk 36
I guess that place wasn't squeaky clean.
JMichael 26
And appetite gone.
mosquito19 14
real lazy person would just eat around the dead mouse
torio123 27
packet salads are always nasty omg
thephoenix95_fml 9
At least, you're not hungry anymore
MixedGurl97 10
why would you buy food from a low-end store?
False_Stupidity 42
Gee, I don't know. Maybe because the budget is tight and they couldn't afford a more upmarket bag of salad?
FMLcommenterer 13
Is there some whale semen to drizzle over the top of that? You're missing out on good food OP!
fooltemptress 36
Look at the bright side: If one of your resolutions this next year is to lose weight, they've really helped you out. After an experience like that, I'd never be hungry again.