Today, I asked my wife how we could spice up our sex life. She wants me to dress up and talk like Joe Exotic. No, she wasn’t kidding. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife complained that our sex life is too boring and vanilla. I have spent the last two years suggesting ideas to keep it interesting: S&M, swinging, roleplay, cosplay, public play, new toys, you name it. All I ever hear is, "Eww you pervert, that is disgusting and sick, how dare you even mention that." FML
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
Today, my wife got turned on by the muscular girl from the movie Encanto and asked me if I'd be willing to dress as her the next time we have sex. I love my wife and I enjoy sex as much as anyone, but she must have lost her mind if she thinks I'll wear a skirt so she can pretend I'm a woman. FML
Today, my wife was telling me about some kinky things she did with a previous boyfriend. Since my sexual adventures were fairly limited compared to hers, I commented that I would like to try that sometime. She said, "Why would we have kinky sex? We're already married." She was serious. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML
Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
If she's such a fan of Tiger King, you'd better do what she says or you'll wind up like Carole's first husband. 🐯🥣
noporn4u 9
Ask if you should do it "prison style"
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
If she's such a fan of Tiger King, you'd better do what she says or you'll wind up like Carole's first husband. 🐯🥣
noporn4u 9
Ask if you should do it "prison style"
fjvitt 14
Umm...she knows Joe likes the boys...right???
bobsanction 18
Bring home a boyfriend.
JasonThorn 23
I think someone's suffering from a little cabin fever.