Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I was going to put some Italian dressing on my salad when I noticed that the oil and vinegar weren't mixed. After putting the cap back on, I shook as hard as I could. The cap came flying off and I showered myself in the dressing. FML
Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML
Burgers? In this economy?
Today, I was hungry and I was trying to buy the cheapest burger at Wendy's, but I'm so broke that I had to call my friends to lend me some money. Ugh. FML
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML
Lunch is on me
Today, to eat healthy, I made myself a salad for lunch. While shaking the salad container, the lid popped off, sending lettuce, cucumbers and dressing all over my cubicle. My boss walked in just in time to see me wiping vinaigrette off of my keyboard. FML
Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML
Today, at work, a drunk demanded a salad dressing we don't have. He marched into my kitchen and demanded I make it for him. When I said we didn't have the ingredients, he pushed the microwave over and stormed out. My boss came in and wrote me up for being "pushy and rude to customers". FML
Top comments
WCARlover 35
I'm sorry OP :( there are quite a few foods you can get for right around a dollar. Beans, oats, tuna, bananas, rice, pasta are all great options, some of which still offer some nutrition. Best of luck, and I hope times get better for you soon.
Tripartita 45
When the zombie apocalypse comes, you'll be the "vegan" option available to the undead. One zombie will ask another, "how the **** can you still consider yourself vegan AND eat human brains?" to which the second will reply, "it's all about secondly and tertiary consumers, dude."
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Comments (27)
WCARlover 35
I'm sorry OP :( there are quite a few foods you can get for right around a dollar. Beans, oats, tuna, bananas, rice, pasta are all great options, some of which still offer some nutrition. Best of luck, and I hope times get better for you soon.
torrea 19
There must be some food pantries or soup kitchens you can eat at. They're usually 1 or 2 in every town or city. Good luck
Magnoxidans 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sounds like you need to be "addressing" your financial situation. Hehehehehe
OysterPearls 33
So sorry to hear that OP! Is there a dollar tree or 99 cent store nearby? For just a few bucks in there you can make a meal that's filling and and healthy. Best of luck to you!
pettyjohn1995 14
I believe your definition of healthy differs slightly from the one most of us use. That crap from 99¢ stores may actually be worse than the dressing given the ungodly amount of chemicals and preservatives found in most cheap foods. Even vegetables sold in those stores are often the lowest possible quality and devoid of nutrients. Filling and capable of providing much needed calories, yes. Healthy not so much. I don't expect the OP to go without, but do yourself a favor and at least shoot for a major grocery store brand, it's (slightly) less likely to lead to your early demise
pandaxpress 19
While you are saying to go for major grocery chains, I believe you are missing the point of being broke. Some stores that are cheaper or discount grocery stores offer local produce instead of imported, grown in a hot house. a discount store would provide the options for beans, canned veggies, bread, milk, etc.. Not everyone can afford to shop at Safeway, Kroger, or the sort. OP can still make good choices for a lot less money.
ShotaSammy 17
Agreed. Plus salad dressing, depending on the kind can be really bad for you in large quantities. Some might not be too bad, but something like ranch? Actually horrible for you. Dollar stores can mean a wide variety of things from pre-packaged foodstuffs that isn't "good" for you but will fill you and give you calories, to basics like rice and clean water, and depending on the dollar store it might even have fresh vegetables or fruit like some apples or bananas, fruit that doesnt go bad really quickly. They might not be organic perfectly cultivated for your health and enjoyment but even the cheapest apple is still an apple. Oh and if anyone wants to know one thing that will always been identical between stores and brands? Bananas. They are all genetic clones of one another and therefore cannot possibly be different.
Tripartita 45
When the zombie apocalypse comes, you'll be the "vegan" option available to the undead. One zombie will ask another, "how the **** can you still consider yourself vegan AND eat human brains?" to which the second will reply, "it's all about secondly and tertiary consumers, dude."
juuuliaaa_fml 28
Been there, just remember it does get better! Ramen can go a long way. Also check out the churches around you they always have free food pantries, don't be embarrassed to ask for help.
MrEldritch 14
Not gonna lie, I've made myself some pretty satisfying dinners by just adding sliced vegetables and additional spices to regular instant ramen.
rissa5214 14
Ramen is the shit. Base for a soup or boil the noodles and rain the water before adding seasonings and sautéed vegetable for pasta. Ramen should be a staple.
liinkinparkfan97 34
I'm sorry OP, I've been in your position. It's awful but it does get better. You just have to keep your head up and keep looking forward. Wishing you the best of luck OP, better times are coming!
RichardPencil 32
Vegetables are overrated.
GhostFox 34
Look into food banks and as around at churches and see if they have any resources for those in need who aren't members of the church. Most food banks have a limit on how many times a year you can visit, but they give a bunch of canned and dried goods, and some get close to being past sell by date food from bakeries that you can freeze.
ShotaSammy 17
If youre that poor, why don't you apply for help from the government?
awesomeamandas 37
not everyone qualifies just because they are poor. OP could have a job that makes too much annually to be able to qualify for government aid. being poor doesn't automatically mean you qualify for food stamps or anything of the like.
The_Avatar 22
Rice and bananas. And try a local food pantry. They will usually stock you up with enough for a month.