Rock Bottom Riser

Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been paying her half of the rent by taking my ATM card and getting money from my account. FML

Money first

Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML

Today, in an attempt to support and encourage my efforts in getting a new job, my boyfriend said, "Imagine having triple what's in your bank account right now!" Triple what's in my bank account right now would be exactly $38.94. FML

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick up a few things from the store for him while he was at work. After picking up everything he asked for, I wasn't left with much money so I used $50 from my account. When he got home he then grumbled about me spending all of "his" money. FML

Today, I found out that my boyfriend wrote 50 dollars on my gift card just to look generous, it's really only worth five. I found this out after I tried to buy an arm full of clothes. FML

Waiting for that trickle down

Today, I looked at my bank balance. It read $1.23. That's higher than it usually is. FML

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating right after I maxed out my credit card buying him everything on his Christmas list. FML

Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML