Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML
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Top comments
PandaSmile 24
Buy a strap on and tell him you're ready to go next time he wants sex. Or dump him.
JaffaMC 13
He sounds like a pain in the ass, FYL
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Comments (100)
JaffaMC 13
He sounds like a pain in the ass, FYL
incoherentrmblr 22
Technically, anal does speak louder than words, in decibels...
PandaSmile 24
Buy a strap on and tell him you're ready to go next time he wants sex. Or dump him.
Kielnmsoftly 26
First part is right but I mean second part might be a little extreme. It's not like anything was forced and maybe they just need to talk about it (I don't mean she should just listen to him I meant to sort him out). But yeah.
alfalfalaffa 17
That couldn't possibly be any better off an idea. Kudos.
toastbrot 9
i don't think dumping him would be to harsh. if he doesn't say (and feel like it) that he loves her too but demands a prove of her love, which would be a favor for him, he's kind of a douchebag.
bonermonkey 31
he sounds like someone who would seriously coerce someone into anal, which makes him a manipulative asshole. like I'd run for the hills if a guy said that to me. its basically 'you would if you loved me', which is the kinda thing my mum warned me about from creeps...
Vesi 30
The bf already made it pretty clear he's not emotionally invested in the relationship with that response instead of reciprocating. She needs to tell him to shove off if she wants emotional investment and not being told anal sex will prove she loves him.
littlekellilee 45
Exactly. If I poured my heart out to my bf for the first time and he responded with this, I'd say "you're right. I'll take this relationship and shove it up your ass." And then I'd leave.
Hunter_the_Ninja 22
Has anyone ever stopped to consider that he was making a joke and that OP misinterpreted it?
AninOnin 24
If they've been together long enough for OP to admit she loves him, I would SINCERELY HOPE she understands what he means most of the time -_-
gosh_mate 30
Uhhhhh that seems pretty insensitive of them... You put yourself on the line and don't deserve a response like that.
theorangecurls 18
I hope he was joking op- you need someone who respects you!
Axel5238 29
Never understood why so many guys are into the thought of anal. I'm guessing it has to be from ****, but all that is properly liter ect... No where near as sexy or erotic which goes for most things transferring **** into real life.
HarryWholock87 17
My girlfriend is into anal.I am not.she claims that it helps when she get blocked up. I think she just likes how the strap on feels
Misswildsides 22
#11, I don't think we needed to know that
thesmeagol 22
Don't tell us what to think.
Soverain 15
My thoughts exactly #6
Ashamed_Sister 60
Vote me down if you want but I think #11 made a pretty good joke.
cornyrob 33
#11, You could've mentioned that you were a lesbian (as it says in your profile) and then your comment might make more sense to the rest of us.
Elban 20
Ah and I thought it was pretty funny and coming from a guy. Thanks for letting the air outta that one
embracingsilence 15
That sounds like something a future cheater would say. If you don't give in to anal, he'll probably find someone who will.
MoxleyCrue 17
That's a tad extreme. Saying you want something doesn't mean you'll cheat to get it.
A07 48
So saying I want $10 billion makes me a future bank robber?
Mynxie 26
@8 That logic is completely flawed. Just because there is one thing he wants that she won't do doesn't mean he will cheat.
Thatissarcastic 17
I guess could say he's an ass.
Richard6036 13
It sounds like your boyfriend is more into the feeling of sexual nature rather than on the heart and it sounds like you got a real loser and you hands
LosinIt2008 14
tell him to bend over then lol see what his reply is! Lol jk don't fo that! tell him to go to hell! then leave his ass! (Pun intended!)
hannah_dl 11
I don't know why every one is freaking out and thinking he's serious, it seems like an ovious deadpan joke to me and it went above OP's head.