Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my boss for a raise, but he told me my position is a legal requirement that produces no profit, unlike every other employee, ergo if I’m feeling ungrateful about my generous wage, he will happily fire me and hire someone else at minimum wage, saving the company money. FML
Today, my boss found out I had applied for a much better paying job. He told me I'd do a better job and make more money there. Then he fired me. FML
Today, I met with my boss hoping to hear about a possible raise that had been promised many months ago. He then told me that the only way I would get a raise was if I found a better paying job and took it, and that the company was in no position to offer anyone a raise. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with, "Who the hell are you?" FML
Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML
Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML
Today, the person recently hired to work in my spot during my days off started at a higher hourly rate than me, after I have been here for nearly three years. I asked for a raise and got a dollar more; meanwhile, my regional counterparts make 4 dollars more per hour. FML
Today, after putting in 110% at my shitty job for two years straight, my boss told me point-blank I'm too good in my current position for him to ever be able to justify promoting me. FML
Today, my boss asked that I add the work of our third coworker's position to my shift because he's never finished his duties. She gave us a 50 cent raise to "babysit" a 60-ish year-old man. I responded to respectfully fire him or pay me 20/hr. His last day is Friday and he doesn't even know yet. FML
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Top comments
PANDORUM89 21
Well putting it that way probably wasn't the best plan. Maybe you should've highlighted your worth to the company rather than whatever the hell you said.
ZoroMiHawk 25
Why would you point out that he'd have to pay more anyway if he hired someone else? You're pretty much arrogantly demanding for a raise because that's his only option anyway, not asking. Next time you ask for a raise, back it up by pointing out how your previous and current contributions to the company have made you a valuable asset to the company.
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Comments (72)
lovelyvampire 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
he's just going for a power trip, I feel like he's just trying you this. I dint think your job is necessarily in the line. if so though, bring it higher up.
PresidentNorth 16
Stop cow you're drunk.
lovelyvampire 16
well you're a ******* asshole....
Paco_el_Taco 17
What the **** did I just read?
mannatee 19
You can get fired for stepping out of line
Paco_el_Taco 17
Was taking about #1's comment but thanks anyways.
isabellasimone 18
Yikes...maybe you're not meant for that job. Best of luck, OP.
SparkyRoxYurSox 16
Sounds like a dick.
IamHercules 24
Who the boss or OP?
BBlah 26
#9 - I'm gonna go with the boss
stingray112 24
OP your boss sounds like a cancerous homosexual
ShadowOpsV4 13
The poster said to his boss "you might as well give me a raise because anyone else you hire will get paid more anyway". This basically gave a golden ticket to the boss to fire him.
Alittleghosty 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Dick Boss is a dick. His loss though. FYL
IamHercules 24
Dick boss is a dick?
quickit 24
#11 Yeah, dick boss is dick.
Axipiter 24
That is one of the stupidest and most redundant statements I've ever heard...
Pink185054 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'd sue
jojimugo 20
Why?
mt631 18
If OP is in an employment at will state, there's not much he can sue for.
dezire43 7
#28 that's not necessarily true. at-will does mean OP can be terminated for any reason or no reason at all but even with at-will employment if you're terminated without just cause you can sue for unemployment and win
RufusBarbarossa 13
#36 - Your two statements contradict each other. "Can be terminated for no reason at all" means that they don't have to have a valid reason to fire you. If the boss is simply displeased with you, they can fire you.
sydneysays 15
Maybe he isn't pleased with your performance..or just doesn't like you..
val_is_lame97 12
your boss sounds like a prick
WCARlover 35
It'll give you a chance to find another job with a good boss! I know it's very crappy now but it'll probably end up being a blessing in disguise
MrsPegg 45
That may be true, but this is the absolute worst time of year to be worried about being fired/looking for a new job. OP should have waited til the new year to ask for a raise, because end-of-year bookkeeping and "house cleaning" makes things more stressful for management. Ill timed for sure and unfortunately timing is everything... Sorry OP!
PANDORUM89 21
Well putting it that way probably wasn't the best plan. Maybe you should've highlighted your worth to the company rather than whatever the hell you said.
imagineapc 11
I was hoping I couldn't be the only other person who thought that!
aimzskee 30
Your boss sounds like a douche. You might not see it now, but you're probably better off not working for him .