Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML
Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly, "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Today, I was feeling really down and insecure after a friend joked about how small my boobs are. When my grandma got me to tell her what happened, she reassured me that all the girls in our family were late bloomers. I said "Really?" and she replied, "Oh no dear. Quite the opposite." FML
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML
Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML
Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML
Today, after months of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my husband's grandmother due to her getting a hip replacement, I overheard her calling me a whore over the phone from the next room. FML
Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML
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Top comments
iAmPaul 49
Well, she certainly has an archaic way of thinking.
iAmPaul 49
It pisses me off when people say that. Being old does NOT make it ok to say those reprehensible things with her outdated values and mindset.
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Comments (157)
SydLovesLacey 18
Hell, I'd work there.
PNiggZ 19
You can always count on grandma to bring that olde American sexism back to the light
Nederlander95 14
Sooo apparently you're smart and a smokeshow. Why the **** are you complaining?
beararm 11
forget ur gmoms, brains r turn ons, but lol so is a hooter uniform, Mayb u shuld do both lol
Retaheki 27
(Crocodile Dundee voice) Be very careful. Although they can communicate, doing so is very detrimental. It could rile it up.
beararm 11
Think it's time u go put apostrophes on someone's MySpace status guy.
exuberant_orange 17
A girl who kicks ass obviously. You go OP!
sureshadow 23
da hael wrong
c0nus 11
Work hard and you'll prove her wrong! Some elderly people can be rude some times
ashingtondc 3
As a guy in comp sci: You go girl!
Johnnycake23 42
Is Granny spry?
silver_fisher 2
Wow I like how you still manage to brag while you're trying to convey how much your life sucks. No offense but that makes you a huge bitch. Also it probably isn't true that you have a 3.8 GPA