Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 12 year-old son came home with two broken arms after finding an awesome place to ride his bike. He found a sweet jump and his handlebars broke. He's currently in slings and waiting for an appointment with a surgeon, the breaks were so bad, the hospital couldn't reset them. FML
Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML
Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML
Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML
Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Today, after a snowstorm my son decided that boarding off the roof onto my truck would be fun. My truck now has a puncture wound. The same truck that drove him to the hospital for his puncture wound and broken arm. FML
Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
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Top comments
Starcatch77 20
You know what they say...The apple doesn't fall far from the tree... ...Or the window.
yuggi1 11
It's cause those damn ice cream trucks are there one second and gone the next. Every millisecond counts.
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Comments (184)
Starcatch77 20
You know what they say...The apple doesn't fall far from the tree... ...Or the window.
chilearmy123 4
Could everyone dislike my comment? Im goin for a record
keven501 12
You have to take risks to get your ice cream
chilearmy123 4
Could everyone dislike my comment? Goin for a record!
tjv3 10
Your kid is an idiot op. did you not teach him what is and isn't a good idea
baconftw 9
Your son kinda deserved it.
ryry013 6
Did he get the ice cream!?!
efemel94 7
Pain is temporary. Ice cream is eternal.
naughtia 14
At least you're in Canada and don't have to pay any hospital bills!
Briiyahh 7
Y did u get thumbed down...? He is stupid don't deny it even at 8 you should know better
CoconutOil 7
Not just that, you probably don't have to worry about 7 FBI agents coming to your house and falsely accusing you for child abuse!
chyeneee 3
Well at least he's got his priorities straight
XmoulcraftX 6
Prick >.>
iSeeSarcasm 3
36- the ice cream was a good idea at the time.
saxetsasnak 5
THAT'S what he would do for a Klondike bar
truth_spitta 0
Ok, am I the only one that thinks the kids a freakin boss?
nutcrackers 2
Time to teach your son some patience
anythingmustbe 18
True to the saying I scream for ice-cream
jerrylee123 8
Uh, the FBI don't handle individual child abuse cases. They deal with FEDERAL crimes.
iTz_x_BurneddPs3 0
I guess he screamed for ice cream..
nado13579 12
The sad thing is I think most of us here on FML would probably do the same thing.
False_Stupidity 42
The OP's kid is silly. Now if it had been a bacon truck, I would understand and approve of such extreme measures, but Ice-cream just isn't as worth it...
mrsmathers17531 5
LOL aw:(
alexup24 13
2- You're way too ******* deep
alexup24 13
2- You're way too ******* deep...
unhappybitch 8
#39 your picture with your comment made me laugh.
klx125cross 9
Obviously she's mixed up...,her profile says shes a mister...,just saying..
yuggi1 11
It's cause those damn ice cream trucks are there one second and gone the next. Every millisecond counts.
Dr0reos 8
Well that's what happens when the ice cream man puts meth in the Popsicles.
KiddNYC1O 22
Here in NYC they remain in one spot for a long time with that annoying melody.
RealReasons 0
This kid better have got his ice cream. Damn windows trying to tell him what to do...
MysteriousX_fml 10
Well, did he get his ice cream? Important details...
scapachini1 10
#188 i'm so sorry for your childhood
AdrianneLily 9
Aww
alexup24 13
3- The amount of intellect you put into your comment is astonishing
person961 9
Kids get crazier and crazier for the ice cream trucks, I though chasing it was still in. I guess a well timed jump will put you straight through the roof to the ice cream.
JackeeDawn 9
To think their going to run this country after we die. FML
MrBrightside21 20
Grammar Nazis, stay away. We already know.
Llamacod 11
*they're
Llamacod 11
*they're
rcgirl2 11
Must. Not. Correct. Grammar.
pokefan813 16
*takes out shotgun* what did I say about generalization?
solosohigh 15
you're 16, he's 8. you're the same generation. also, I'm not so confident you'd be of any help considering you struggle with basic grammar.
scapachini1 10
Ouch, burn.
may651 14
Oh goodness boys. :)
onlychildFTW 34
No, just ones that are mentally handicapped. Most people don't jump trough windows or off roofs.
somewizdom 15
You're kind of lucky it was only the 2nd floor.
PhishloverA 14
Your picture is gross
flutter4 7
It made me look twice
camsterjoe 12
If it was from the 5th floor... ....well that's what Darwin calls "natural selection"
Rianokami 22
I wonder where he got the impatience characteristic from?
mndlssphnx 10
See if you can get a refund. For the kid, not the ER.
Death_Hoe_Inn 10
She lives in Canada, healthcare is free up here. Should wouldn't have to pay bills for the birth nor the ER.
lopsop 12
Wait she? She got circumcised?
shahs 3
Dafuq you talking about?