Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML
Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly, "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Today, I was feeling really down and insecure after a friend joked about how small my boobs are. When my grandma got me to tell her what happened, she reassured me that all the girls in our family were late bloomers. I said "Really?" and she replied, "Oh no dear. Quite the opposite." FML
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML
Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML
Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML
Today, after months of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my husband's grandmother due to her getting a hip replacement, I overheard her calling me a whore over the phone from the next room. FML
Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML
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Top comments
iAmPaul 49
Well, she certainly has an archaic way of thinking.
iAmPaul 49
It pisses me off when people say that. Being old does NOT make it ok to say those reprehensible things with her outdated values and mindset.
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Comments (157)
Goblin182 27
I think Granny may be trying to pimp her grand daughter.
cappellaaa 23
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. As long as you're independent and happy, then that's all that matters.
Kailayla 29
OP, as a fellow female student of computer science, I salute you :)
no_lungs 16
How is the female body rare? Also, there are a lot of hot girls at hooters so again you wouldn't be rare. Do the world a favor and use your brain not your looks.
stephanyovalle 15
Take it with humor, at least if you ever get tired of working with computers, and want to change the whole path, you got options. Seems like you got brains and body, be cool with it
MSCCG 16
Computer scientists can work at hooters.
joleenmean 6
While I was studying for my PhD in Molecular Biology at a prestigious university my Grandmother told me that I should take the first opportunity to get pregnant so that I could qualify for welfare housing (this was in the UK). Some grandmas just don't get it.
dubleduke 11
Just the time where she grew up. It's nothing personal
hardy24 9
She's shocked that woman can go to college and be intelligent??...don't tell her that you can vote too or her brain might explode
Alessia1269 14
Don't be mad at her ? she was raised in another time...