Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a picture a popular girl I don't talk to had posted of her fake ID. She had used my full name and identical signature. FML
Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML
Today, the ugliest girl in school walked by me and said "ewwww". FML
Today, I saw that the girl who used to sleep with everyone in high school got engaged. I commented on her post, “How did a girl who was easier to get into than community college get a ring?” She replied, “Because I kept my body in shape, unlike you, have a quality day!” Her comment got 43 likes. I give up. FML
Today, two girls came up to me on the street and asked if they could take a photo with me for their high school scavenger hunt, because they needed a picture with a stranger. One of the girls shook her head and said to the other, "It needs to be an attractive stranger" and walked away. FML
Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML
Today, I recently graduated from high school and I went to a college party. I met these girls and told them I graduated college already, to sound cool. I then heard one of them say, "I went to middle school with you, and I was in your math class." FML
Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML
Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML
Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MathewBlack 14
Apparently 'swag' gets you through medical school..
Jacksparrow72 21
Wow, would you like ice for that burn?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (267)
Jacksparrow72 21
Wow, would you like ice for that burn?
thepunman 11
Your not supposed o put ice on a third degree burn
klovemachine 24
Actually, I give the win to OP. I'm not impressed with her medical degree. And she is a bitch B-)
aeore 16
Apply cold water to the burn?!
beclaurela 18
You ****** that up. It's supposed to be cold water.
SuperKnuckels 6
damn swaggots. #YOLO#LILWAYNE. xD
SamanthaCassieL 10
It's supposed to be Luke warm! Cold can damage the nerves lol ...and yeah... If a surgeon (on or off shift) said that to me.. I don't know how impressed I'd be with them.. Lol
SoylentCandycorn 10
It's not really a burn when you go out of your way to orchestrate it. It's like using a stepladder to perform a slam dunk.
Meettitan 14
"Swag is for children, class is for men."
mb2_native 15
I would've read the name and said see you soon *her name* and smile. Just to watch her freak out, if she don't know your name, she won't know what to tell the police. Even if she gave them a description, all us native's look a like according to some people hahah
blackzi11a 7
Sarcasm is a foreign language to some people....
Jacksparrow72 21
Sorry, I didn't know. I'm not a surgeon.
tjv3 10
YDI totally for being judgemental
SoylentCandycorn 10
I would say it's pretty judgemental to insult a complete stranger based on their personal appearance as well.
little_one 20
.
PoopNuggetLeader 4
35. It could be one of those bullshit degrees.
here_we_go23 0
After she pulled out the I.D. I would have said, "Well apparently, all those years of education sure didn't buy you any class or maturity so you could have fooled me."
omfg_creepers 8
The chances of that ever happening again is like impossible. FYL. Next time you say ot its almost a garuntee its going to work.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Depends, I have a feeling she deliberately did that because she had a good counter to what was an inevitable retort. There might be more of her kind
SoylentCandycorn 10
She seems like the type of person who goes out of their way to pick fights, but only when she knows she will win them. I wouldn't be surprised if she already had the status typed out on facebook, and was just waiting for it to actually happen before she pressed enter.
SoSickWithIt 14
Am I the only one thinking counterfeit I.D. ?
jamalamadingdong 18
That's exactly what I thought 206! It could be a fake ID. I hope it was a fake ID. Besides, since he called her a "girl" not a lady or woman, it makes me think she's pretty young.
Locoluis 15
Not necessarily. A lot of older men use the term "girl" to refer to women around their age and younger, so as to avoid making themselves feel old. XD
masonbain93 9
You do seem to being lacking "Swag".
Marvin_Kay 10
And you seem to be lacking intelligence
m1grande 3
By what logic. The comment was clearly a stab at modern adolescent's retarded sayings. Thus the quotes around the word Swag. For pausing emphasis i assume
CharlesScene 3
Watch the hate flow
MathewBlack 14
Apparently 'swag' gets you through medical school..
ThePsyche 9
Pic + comment = gold.
sens3sfailing 25
well maybe she meant Surgeons Win Arguements Gracefully?
Jaevwyn 17
I see what you did there... Don't do it again
glucas1994 4
I bet she just blew her professors with her swag mouth
alexhaz64 4
Is your pic of one of her professors?
Qazx405_fml 2
So does sucking some d
0utcast_Pixie 1
No but F***ing the professor probably did for her
thepunman 11
This screams irony
guy24 9
Yeah... The people that are surgeons today. I say that because he must of had a reason to say what he did. Walking down the street, get jumped by surgeons? :P
thepunman 11
Lol. In my head I see a surgeon stab a man and see him right back up.
zero4life123 7
B. U. R. N.
charvisioku 22
No.
Synistiel 14
1 already covered that. You're too late.
therealslim 15
They were posted at the same time, chill out
Baconman345 9
How the **** do idiots like that succeed in life?
free2speak 14
You don't have to be stupid to occasionally indulge in urban humor. I am currently in med school and I love watching Jersey Shore for its idiocy and I've used "swag" in a humorous way... She (the surgeon) could've been doing the same. You don't have to be totally serious 24/7. It's fun to drink and shout obnoxious urban slurs.. It's nice to be a total idiot for a day, while still retaining the ability to go back to being a Neuroanatomy quoting genius the next day...
lilhellian 27
Humanity has too many safegaurds for them.. Survival of the fittest should kill them..
lostmongoose 23
Yeah but I think there is a difference between being a little stupid to have some fun and being a bitch.
1awliet 8
Maybe the ID wasn't even hers?
Mackay92 14
by being better than most?
docscientist 10
39- she wasn't being fun. She was being a total ass.
xrudeboyrock 29
Sure thing. I have a degree and am working on another one, but I like Snooki and JWoww or other silly shows because they're funny. And it's nice to give your brain a break after working hard all day.
iamcoolyo 5
Obviously they're not idiots prick!!!
perdix 31
Looks like she ripped you a new one! Hope she used sufficient anesthesia and sterile instruments -- boo-yah!
ironichalibut 24
Exactly, forget the burn, If she was a real surgeon she knows how to kill someone in several ways pretty quickly. Although I'd think most surgeons have better impulse control, this one's already shown a low understanding Of social protocol, not to mention the whole "swag" can of worms. My point is OP got off lucky, a gangster-surgeon could be a dangerous mixture of stupid and deadly.
igive 29
It was a trap and you fell for it hard!
SoylentCandycorn 10
I'm guessing when she posts it on facebook, she'll be leaving out the parts where she went out of her way to insult a complete stranger on the street, gave him the finger for trying to defend himself, and how her instant reaction was to brag about it online like a vapid tween girl. Seriously, it sounds like she's overcompensating for something.
LuckBeNimble 19
71: not necessarily overcompensating. I mean sometimes people need/enjoy the validation of their hard work (medicine is surely not a cake walk) however petty it may be. every dog has it's day, nomsayin?
fuzz97 23
Haha what could she possibly be compensating for? Her high-paying job as a surgeon? Try harder next time
outoftown 27
71 - She may be making up for the youth she lost studying medicine and surgery.
SoylentCandycorn 10
Because successful people never have feelings of insecurity, and try to compensate for past unhappiness by making sure everyone knows about their current successes. And if you are successful now, that means you were always were so. Right? Try harder next time. The fact that she wants to make sure everyone knows about how successful and how great she is at dishing out burns to complete strangers strikes me as overcompensating. If I was a surgeon, I sure as hell wouldn't feel the need to insult complete strangers and then trip over myself to brag about it on facebook to feel good about myself.
klimpomppp 9
Wooooooow, im disappointed
klutz44 28
I think anyone dishing out burns to complete strangers is overcompensating, regardless of their occupation.
obviousboy 8
The proper response is, "Thanks for the compliment."