Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML
Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly, "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Today, I was feeling really down and insecure after a friend joked about how small my boobs are. When my grandma got me to tell her what happened, she reassured me that all the girls in our family were late bloomers. I said "Really?" and she replied, "Oh no dear. Quite the opposite." FML
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML
Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML
Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML
Today, after months of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my husband's grandmother due to her getting a hip replacement, I overheard her calling me a whore over the phone from the next room. FML
Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML
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Top comments
iAmPaul 49
Well, she certainly has an archaic way of thinking.
iAmPaul 49
It pisses me off when people say that. Being old does NOT make it ok to say those reprehensible things with her outdated values and mindset.
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Comments (157)
rebelsrock 17
Don't worry, that's not something that you kneed to do
WattledParsley 11
You don't say
WitEluded 13
Just wait until you tell her that you also plan to vote
Retaheki 27
And I feel sad for you when get a car.
Retaheki 27
My joke wasn't clear, it was that if OP got a car, her grandma will tell her off because "girls can't drive."
PerditaDessa 38
My grandmother always tells me to give up on university because no man wants a women smarter than he is. Given the chance, they always have a way with words.
giantsfan2010 23
Really? I'd love to have a woman smarter than me!
Enslaved 38
Or how about a woman as smart as you? Don't sell yourself short.
randomname98 22
Are you kidding me? That's what I look for! I want to be with someone as smart as or smarter than me!
MyKarmaisBad 11
Yeh! I'm in vehicle engineering and my mother said that too, that no man wants a smarter woman. I don't give a damn cause I think in some way the statement is true, but when my parents say "don't do that" when taking a beer, or watching a action movie bec it's not a "feminine" thing to do, it annoys me to infinity.
randompizzaguy 17
Unintelligent people infuriate me, So it's ideal to date intelligent people, for me at least.
Attacksloth 33
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mustangbravo 27
Very cool. Any actual meaning? I don't know binary.
Attacksloth 33
It says "Keep working hard" :D
pl0xs3rver 45
Thanks for translating for those of us who are too lazy :)
ShadowGenius 12
The good old days
amanda182 19
I would just take the fact she said you should work at hooters as a compliment. & her sexism.. Well she's old and they make no sense half the time anyways so don't listen to that, obviously. Keep up the good work though girl (:
Blake77_fml 19
Obviously you deserve it because you're a girl. (Sarcasm)
SlowDownImaNoob 20
Granny was probably an employee of the month 3x champion at Hooters back in the day.
olpally 33
I wouldn't even listen to her. Just ignore her.
HeWillBeLoved105 22
Sexist granny