Today, I found out that I'm not welcome at my boyfriend's dad funeral, because his ex-wife has invited herself, and it would be too awkward to explain to his extended family, most of whom apparently don't yet know that he's divorced. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my newly-divorced father is now going to marry my girlfriend's mother. Tough situation here. FML
Today, I attended my boyfriend's funeral. His entire family never accepted me and hadn’t spoken to him in 4 years. I had to listen to his brother give the eulogy, and every word out of his mouth about my boyfriend was a lie. They barely knew him, yet I could only sit in the back of the church, alone. FML
Today, my estranged father died. No one bothered to tell me, and the only reason I found out was because his wife texted my sister. When I asked about the service, I was told I was not welcome in the state he had lived in, because I was no longer family. FML
Today, there's a family reunion in my parents' backyard. I'm not invited because my Mom, Dad, Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents are upset that I'm divorcing my ex-husband. Apparently, trying to kill me doesn't matter since he's funny, always made excellent barbecue chicken in past reunions, and everybody loves him. FML
Today, my soon to be ex-husband and ex-mother in law informed me I couldn't go to the funeral of a really good friend we shared. I went anyway, but I can't imagine how the divorce is going to go. FML
Today, I arrived at my best friend's wedding and found out that my invitation was no longer valid. His brother tried to explain that they'd decided to make the ceremony for family members only, then two our classmates popped out to say hello. They're not related, neither to my friend nor to his fiancée. FML
Today, I was told I'm not invited to my best friend's birthday party. Apparently, being divorced and childless doesn't "mesh" well with the rest of the group. My parents are still watching her kids so she can go away for the weekend. FML
Today, my mother not only told me that my ex-husband will be spending Thanksgiving with her and my dad, but that I'm also no longer invited to spend the holiday with my family. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a year went to a wedding. He didn't invite me, he took his ex instead. I saw it all on Instagram. FML
Today, my family and my fiancée's family met each other and my worst fear came true. My asshole dad found out my fiancée's dad is a reverend and his first sentence was, "How's the molestation business these days?" It didn't take long before a brawl erupted and we were kicked out. I'm cutting him off for good. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
That actually makes tons of sense. It didn't before I spent a few solid hours banging my head against a wall, but now it's clear as day.
feme_fatale 19
Too awkward? What is he 5? He should be able to tell them about his love life and you should be worth the awkwardness that he is worried about.
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Comments (33)
feme_fatale 19
Too awkward? What is he 5? He should be able to tell them about his love life and you should be worth the awkwardness that he is worried about.
Jay18 22
some families shame their relatives because or always give their relatives shit about it
tounces7 28
The fact he isn't telling his family is a huge red flag. He might not be telling them because he's planning to get back with her.
lycon42 1
So, the late father's ex wife or your boyfriend's ex-wife?
BLDYRBBT 16
The boyfriend's exwife. The last statement about his family not knowing he's divorced.
RinoaHeartilly 36
The late father doesn't even make sense.
fearbasel04 9
took me 4 times to understand. it's the sons ex-wife not the dead fathers.
BLDYRBBT 16
You def need to stand up for yourself and tell him that is unacceptable
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I can understand why the ex-wife might invite herself (she almost certainly knew her ex-father-in-law) so I find the tone that she shouldn't have a little strange. Is there bad blood between the two of you OP? Cause I can certainly understand why your boyfriend's family wouldn't want you there if there is. But if not, you should stand up for yourself.
orangejubejube 20
I agree with this but Sakai don't see a reason why OP shouldn't go as well. So what if you don't like her, a funeral isn't about anyone but the person who died and being there to support their family.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I agree, but if for instance OP had never met her boyfriend's dad and there is likely to be problems between her and the ex-wife, I can see why the family might think it smarter to just ask her to stay at home. This is one of those FMLs where I'd want a lot more information before saying anything other than vague advice.
TaoShaman 24
It's implied that most of the family has never met the OP. They don't know he's even divorced is the issue, not whether or not they get along. And it's not even the ex-wife's family member. Why should she be there anyway?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Extended family. You know, the kind of people you see once every five years or so. The kind of people you only see at funerals and weddings. As for why the ex-wife might want to be there, just cause she's divorced OP's boyfriend doesn't make her stop caring about them. Hell, she may have seen more of the deceased than his extended family did.
angel79_fml 5
My uncles ex wife of 15 years was at my grandmothers and we don't know how long op bf and ex wife were married. My uncles current wife wasn't her decision and his home wrecker was told to hit the road. Yet I want to know how long they were divorced and if she ever met his parents if not then it's not the time for introductions.
brooklyn0118 22
Sounds like it should say ex-boyfriend... It shouldn't be 'awkward' to tell people
lonewolf3400 10
Why is it always the response to break up maybe the dude wants to save himself the trouble and why would op want to go to a funeral if she didn't know the person who died it's just no logical
InfiniteSunshine 32
It says "it would be too awkward to explain to his EXTENDED family." The way this is worded, seems like OP knew the dad, just not the rest of the family. And honestly, I'd be debating a break up too in this situation. A divorce usually takes at least a year, he had months to inform his family. Now he wants to play pretend, with his ex wife of all people, just cause he neglected to tell the truth. They don't know he's divorced, so at the funeral they'll probably be pretending everything is normal and that they're together. As a gf, I'd be pissed. If someone can't inform their family of you, that's a red flag. They aren't serious about you, they're trying to hide you and the relationship, which just makes it seem like they're ashamed of both. Do you have any idea how bad that makes a person feel? Someone who truly cares about you, would want to include you in their family life.
WillMM76 12
Why is he still your boyfriend?
Tripartita 45
That actually makes tons of sense. It didn't before I spent a few solid hours banging my head against a wall, but now it's clear as day.
lulinator 40
Maybe it's my mom brain, but it took me about five times reading that to figure out it was her boyfriend's ex-wife, not the dad's... Where's my coffee??
yerawizardlizzy 27
No girl, I had to read it multiple times as well. It's not worded very well.
bambisapphic 18
Yeah this is super poorly written, I didn't get it either.
girlvsocean 2
There is a lot that is being left out here. Like how long have the two of you been dating? The ex-wife has probably known the the father for a while, and maybe they had a good relationship. Why hasn't the bf told the family about their divorce?? That's something you might want to take up with him.
Uniquestar7 20
Or he's not divorced; you just think he is.
jessicapea 5
Precisely what I thought. Or, the ex-daughter-in-law presumably had more of a relationship with your boyfriebd's family than you do. If my husband and I divorced, it would not change the fact that my father in law is a good man who I love and admire greatly. Regardless if my husband has an updated piece of arm candy.
TaoShaman 24
Referring to the OP as "arm candy" is super judgmental and rude.
printz_zsuzsi 11
She is not referring to the OP, she painted an imagined scenario with her husband and his potential "arm candy".
nix1993 41
She was describing the situation OP is in, putting herself in the position of the ex-wife. She essentially did call OP as the new girlfriend 'arm candy'. It wasn't really called for.