Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML
Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly, "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Today, I was feeling really down and insecure after a friend joked about how small my boobs are. When my grandma got me to tell her what happened, she reassured me that all the girls in our family were late bloomers. I said "Really?" and she replied, "Oh no dear. Quite the opposite." FML
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML
Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML
Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML
Today, after months of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my husband's grandmother due to her getting a hip replacement, I overheard her calling me a whore over the phone from the next room. FML
Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML
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Top comments
iAmPaul 49
Well, she certainly has an archaic way of thinking.
iAmPaul 49
It pisses me off when people say that. Being old does NOT make it ok to say those reprehensible things with her outdated values and mindset.
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Comments (157)
chrissyodol 10
looool sigh
jazalea8 16
Definitely a different generation. Ignore her, and so what if you are a female? Get that degree you have worked hard for.
ashweaver 12
At least she won't be disappointed in you if you do work at hooter ¯_(ツ)_/¯
lmfao789 11
A "rare body" is all you need in soft ware
tygerarmy 35
But that rare body turns all the software into hardware.
Retaheki 27
Unless you have malware.
buckdharma 38
You want to address servers. She wants an undressed server.
KVYLV 16
probably the medication from her knee surgery, happens to the best of us, LOL
peggscott 14
Why not do both??
ChibiChick25 8
On the bright side, at least she thinks your cute.
Eloxia 7
Geez, OP, you're never going to catch a man with your brain hanging out like that. And you can't cook chicken wings with a computer. Seriously, though, good job at school. Just smile and nod when grandma is speaking.
Chaith 16
Humblebrag city. Enjoy your big hooters and 3.8 GPA