Today, at work, one of the elderly residents dropped a turd on the floor. I went to go get the nurse but couldn't find her. Upon returning to the scene, another resident picked it up and placed it in my hand, thinking it was mud. Now my nickname at work is 'Nugget'. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML
Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, at the old folk's home where I work as a housekeeper, a resident was holding herself on the way to the bathroom. I hoped she wouldn't leave a mess. She made it just fine. I was then informed that she had left a crap trail from the couch, more than 20ft away. FML
Today, I spent the first two hours of my shift cleaning up liquid poo after an elderly lady sat in one of our chairs and promptly let go of her bowels. I was so embarrassed for her that I even bought her a towel, underwear, and a pair of pants. She then thanked one of my coworkers for all the help. FML
Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML
Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
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Top comments
wickedhyype 17
I cringed reading this post. FML....
coried91 28
Hey, at least you didn't find them smearing it all over the place. My Great Grandma can do some weird stuff sometimes and this makes her look normal. It's still nasty either way though... I hope you over sanitized!
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Comments (48)
jlang917 14
Now that's a crappy situation...
Sandsh8rk 36
Please show yourself out.
Indiantrolledd 16
Why do you guys hate puns. That was good.
VonBlitzkrieg 27
@#40: Dude somebody says "what a shitty situation" or something stupid like that in literally every FML involving feces.
coried91 28
Hey, at least you didn't find them smearing it all over the place. My Great Grandma can do some weird stuff sometimes and this makes her look normal. It's still nasty either way though... I hope you over sanitized!
wickedhyype 17
I cringed reading this post. FML....
splinteredApple 36
I cringed more at how FML wasn't capitalized in the FML.
mxgirl1998 26
I did too..I don't know what I would do in that situation
khorstmye 15
Nicknames are a term of endearment, smile McNugget :)
dezman2000 21
That was my street name back in the hood, tbh XD
FitFriday 32
You mean streak name, right?
_imacooldude_ 10
That's real shitty op
TheBelt 19
I just knew the shit puns were coming
Miss_Chevious 37
**** your life, Nugget.
TypicalDaniela 20
Why didn't you just clean it up yourself?
KayDee29 31
Yeah, I have a feeling the nurse would have just made OP clean it up. Though I guess we can't know for sure yet if OP is part of the nursing staff or works elsewhere, like the kitchen. We need a follow up!
zyoff 1
Next time clean it up yourself, lazy.