Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, while pooping at work, I was scrolling through social media. I dropped my phone in the toilet and the automatic flusher engaged, flushing my phone halfway into the pipes, which then flooded the toilet. I had to call maintenance and explain what happened to retrieve phone. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML
Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML
Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML
Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom when the automatic toilet flushed prematurely. The sudden gush of water startled me so much that I jumped up and slipped, hitting my head on the stall door. A concerned stranger had to help me up. FML
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Top comments
Ninjahiga 27
At least you know they have great service there
SixthSinEnvy 39
Unless it's you're dealing with residents at risk for a heart attack or a stroke, meaning every single second counts...
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Comments (41)
Ninjahiga 27
At least you know they have great service there
False_Stupidity 42
Well, at least you know that that button works and that staff will respond fast...
krazy789 28
your comment fail is funny because of your picture and name
TonierShadow 19
Mayday, mayday, brown hawk down.
SamSwebb 24
Don't worry they were probably relieved that they didn't have to assist you ... Or did they? Ha
CrassKal 27
Coming from personal experience, if you aren't willing to help a sick person then you are in the wrong career.
jentrynicole 20
Once at work we heard a staff alert button going off so we ran into the room to see what was wrong. After about 6 of us ran in there, we saw no staff, and a man just muttered "I just wanted a cup of water." It happens. At least you know your coworkers will be ready to help you. :)
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Shouldn't they knock first to make sure it's somebody with an emergency and not someone who accidentally pressed the button like you did? If there's no response to the knocking, then breaking in would be necessary.
SixthSinEnvy 39
Unless it's you're dealing with residents at risk for a heart attack or a stroke, meaning every single second counts...
niallo 23
I worked on a cardiac unit for many years, and actually had many patients code in the bathroom. If someone is coding, they usually don't pull the cord. The dead or dying don't usually have the time. The ones who do pull the cord are normally people who can't walk and need help back to bed. I always knock. I've never had someone pull the cord and code. And I worked on that unit for 13 years.
torrea 19
I was thinking the same thing, but I only worked in a nursing home. So thanks for your comment. lol
Tripartita 45
Sitcom rules dictate that you had to act impaired somehow for the rest of the day out of awkwardness. "Uh, did you need help, pal?" "Yes, my… arms don't work well because of… my age… or an injury I sustained… in a war I was in."
HoboMeth 36
When they broke in, did it scare you shitless?
hellobobismyname 24
No, OP just took a shit and was already 'shitless' by the time they got there.
claudiajean 24
I call BS. There's normally a 'reset' button right next to it.
buckdharma 38
Did everything come out okay?