Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML
Today, while volunteering at a senior care center, I witnessed a woman begin to remove her trousers. Then she began tearing apart her diaper. She then began to explore her body. I was unable to stop her. FML
Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML
Today, I spent the first two hours of my shift cleaning up liquid poo after an elderly lady sat in one of our chairs and promptly let go of her bowels. I was so embarrassed for her that I even bought her a towel, underwear, and a pair of pants. She then thanked one of my coworkers for all the help. FML
Today, I watched my mother pull her pants down and, using her hands, feel her butt crack to check if she'd had had an accident. She then pulled her pants up, went into the kitchen and touched stuff in the refrigerator. FML
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML
Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML
Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
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Top comments
kut17 11
I'm guessing you work either at Walmart or a gas station.
DarkSeekerX94446 14
I will never be able to un-see the mental image..
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Comments (122)
boofgall 16
Did you eat nachos with her?
Incredidanny 5
Doubt it.
gotaplanstan 28
How could she? She was too busy cleaning up the pregnant chick's puke.
jesscarrr 10
Am I the only one who's curious as to whether OP works at an old people's home or a Mexican joint? Hmm.
ladyLALAA 29
Wait... Who's pregnant? I feel like nachos now!
ry24 12
What?
RedPillSucks 33
you look like nachos too. Mmm.... Cheesy
ladyLALAA 29
In my defense 33 said pregnant woman's puke. Hence my confusion.
Pwib 14
Don't hate. That wet cheese is like nothing else.
ns1985 15
Do people get marked down if they correct themselves in the next comment?
ns1985 15
Why do people get marked down if they correct themselves in the next comment?
laden_swallow09 35
The correction he made is not correct.
ZeroPath5 16
Not sure. Usually when you say the possessive its, what follows is a subject, such as his, hers, their, yours etc. "in" usually doesn't follow its. Not to mention "it's" does make sense in the post already, since you CAN say it is in etc etc. EDIT: ohh sorry, I didn't see that second it's you corrected. I thought you meant the one after the period...so yes, it's the community's tunnel vision and ignorance...
ry24 12
Are we really arguing about proper grammar right now?
DarkSeekerX94446 14
I will never be able to un-see the mental image..
JellyBalls 18
I will never be able to un-favorite this FML.
LuckBeNimble 19
and OP will never be able un-see the real image.
RedPillSucks 33
At least she didn't have blue waffle... Or did she?
therealslim 15
What the **** 73
datoismyname 22
#73 that doesn't even relate! Grow up.
ICastillo 25
What's up with all the butt hurt people that don't know how to take a joke?
Joe9024 20
That's not a joke that's just disgusting. The FML was visual enough thanks
fml121785 14
I don't know if it was worse that she was eating nasty nachos off of the floor of a public restroom or the fact that she was bottomless. I don't think it would have made it any less disturbing if she had had pants on. And hopefully those nachos hadn't been on the floor for more than 3 seconds, at least she would have shown a little restraint. :/
DocShady 11
Arrrriba
IAmJad 18
Umm... Thanks for that...
pie_flavor 16
I simply can't stop laughing
sexaaydino 14
Did you take her to Taco Bell?
CaptTeemo 10
Live mas
kut17 11
I'm guessing you work either at Walmart or a gas station.
SweetasCandy0609 28
or a nursing home for the elderly.
andyyroxx 20
Wherever it is, this is just nacho day, OP.
fml121785 14
7- It could of been Taco Bell like 6 mentioned. All though I wouldn't have TAKEN her there willingly after witnessing that disgusting display of desperation!
moonsalt 20
She had one hell of a night! GO GRANDMA!
ICastillo 25
Cocaine is a hell of a drug!!
Ukeee_X 19
I imagine that image is scarred behind your eyes now. I have an inkling you work in the care sector, if that's the case there's more oddities to come!
Gaga_is_God6969 13
I feel worse for her, the poor woman. Did you get her help?
zandalee 20
I know right. **** her life.
ns1985 15
Agree. Poor woman!
carmel1110 12
That's so awful... That she didn't offer you any.