Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML
Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, a work colleague was trying to kill a fly that was buzzing around the place. I was about to go on my break, but was stopped because she missed the fly and accidentally whacked me in the balls in the process. By the time I didn’t feel sick anymore, my break was over. FML
Today, at my new job, a coworker offered to help me mop the floors since she wasn't busy. I ended up getting written up by my boss for supposedly being too lazy and making other people finish my work. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML
Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML
Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
raider27 7
Can't she get into trouble for hitting a co-worker?
BIEBERSLAYER 10
Your manager sounds like a real ball buster to me
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Comments (153)
ariannaimelda 7
Karma's a bitch, just like you OP!
kalbrek009 20
I lol every time I see that avatar pic & caption! LOL!
junz_fml 0
Say it not at work next time.
juliaaalove 8
That's actually pretty creative.. I mean a broom handle? Not exactly what you'd expect!
Michigan_Girl 0
You're better off not talking to your coworkers about the other people you work with...it will always come back and bite you in the ass.
Debrakay7 1
Or come back and bite you in the nuts. lol
konto1 1
Or bite you in your nasty ****** ... wait, that's too disgusting.
ImInABox 6
There's one less head to think with..
NaomiMadison 4
Something tells me she's not allowed to do that!
organicmtdew 0
Your boy beans must be tiny to both get hit with a broom handle.
nigerhater 2
Definitely take her to court. Assault, and in the workplace too. Hopefully you get a male judge (should it go all the way to the courtroom); he should actually understand how much being hit in the balls hurts.
organicmtdew 0
Your boy beans must be tiny to both get hit with a broom handle.
preetaleet 9
Karma.....
BOOSCAREDU 0
How the hell is karma related to this FML?
bpeavy07 5
because he talked shit.... duh!
neonblue120 6
So he deserved to be ASSAULTED?
dudeitsdanny 10
No way is this deserved. Hit in the nuts for this? Sure, watch what you say and where, but this is no reason for hitting someone's balls. Report her to a superior, or sue. It's not just assault, but it happened in the workplace. Compensation time. I'm not the kind to go around saying people should sue over everything, but this definitely calls for her getting in trouble.
dabears4life 0
completely 100% agree I would be on the phone with my lawyer as soon as I got off the ground from the pain
leblancG 0
See in Canada people don't sue everyone for everything, I would definitely be doing something about this no doubt.