Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "The myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my professor let a guy into my philosophy class 30 minutes late because his excuse was, "Time is just an illusion." This is the same professor that kicked me out of the classroom for being 2 minutes late. FML
Today, I realized some of my English students have just been going to their Philosophy professor to help them complete their essays. FML
Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML
Today, while writing a midterm, my period came unexpectedly. Too bad my male professor was the one to notice and not me. FML
Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML
Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML
Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, my university professor admitted to sometimes just winging it when she's teaching. "Yeah," she said, "sometimes I just don't get this stuff either." No wonder I'm failing. FML
Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML
Today, my theatre studies professor played a soundscape, then had us write what we thought the meaning was. I thought it was a simulation of what schizophrenia was like. Turns out the teacher bet her friend she could convince us that a bunch of people speaking gibberish meant something. FML
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Top comments
ogoodrich 14
Well.... I bet his wife thinks he's great...
theslimshadylp 6
Please tell me more of this mythical ******.
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Comments (41)
ogoodrich 14
Well.... I bet his wife thinks he's great...
SokDek 14
Huh?
JackeeDawn 9
I wonder if his opening statement was "vaginas are smelly" fallowed by his shitty sex life stories. If he thinks their myths he's never given a girl one.
ogoodrich 14
If you don't get it fyl dude lol
the_anti_hipster 7
Were the subs next words: "Don't have sex, because you WILL get pregnant. And die." ? Hm. Sounds legit.
Dblocker 18
His wife is probably the one who told him this "myth".
graceh316 10
They say tht in Means grls, i was just watching tht like 30 mins ago!
nublets 12
Heh. What wife?
GothicAngel17 24
39- Are you retarded?
kickass1stbase 7
Well that escalated quickly...
Psych101 9
I actually find it rather impressive that the substitute was able to go from Immanuel Kant with his "Dare to Know" to vaginal ******...
sirsquab 12
Actually, I think LACK of escalation is the subs problem.
rarrar321 3
That, my friends, is called true talent.
the_true_batman 10
Well, the early works of Kant were uninteresting and even now hardly anyone cares. They could be compared to sex without an ******. I don't know how else to go from Kant's early works to mythical vaginal orgasms. I am very interested in Kant, and even I don't care about his early works.
theslimshadylp 6
Please tell me more of this mythical ******.
saksxalmo 20
Well, it's not really a myth. The ******** is actually much bigger than many people are aware, so it extends around the vaginal opening. So technically it's possible to have a "vaginal ******" from that part of the ******** alone. I think the myth part is the G-spot (which is still debatable, because I would imagine it's different for everyone.) The more you know...
theslimshadylp 6
And knowing is half the battle!!!
Sir_derpington 2
The other half is finding a girl
niall92 6
Its no myth if you know your shit ;D
MinecraftGeek 8
77- Having the bigger gun.
laden_swallow09 35
Didn't anyone ever tell you? It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean! Unless, of course, you're less than 3 inches. In which case, no one would hold it against you to use some medicinal help
shrdlu 28
Just nod politely and ignore what he says. When your regular prof returns, you can forget anything the sub ever said.
Zer0percent 8
Well, you can at least try to forget.
Zedd_fml 8
Immanuel Kant, well you see In my annual **** report,the vaginal ****** is written to be very ...mythical.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Oh, the joys of having a substitute teacher. It always ends up interesting.
MichellinMan 20
Not for me. When I had subs in high school, they just sat there playing with their phones.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
So far throughout my high school career, I've had pretty awesome people for subs. One turned out to be my aunt's cheerleading coach when she went to my high school, and she was best friends with my grandma. Another sat there and told war stories. Another let us play charades. The list goes on and on.
OhDearBetrayal 25
I had a sub once who tried to connect every last name with a friend of his he knew in hopes of getting comfortable with people. "Jack Anderson, are you familiar with Bob Anderson from St. Cloud?"
PegaDolphin 7
I once had a sub who threatened to send me to the office because I stood up in the middle of class and yelled "DAAAAAYYYOOOO"
abbyhoneywaffles 11
58- and why did you do that?
ChrisTheCalm 9
58- he should of sent you to talk with the school psychologist.
outoftown 27
I had a sub who had been a pro football player. He was excellent. We wanted to keep him, and ditch the regular teacher.
cawoods 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hah how is that possible??
Qandol 26
#6, i guess thats why OP is confused?
epicskier 3
Hope it wasn't in too much detail. Save that for sex Ed
onlychildFTW 34
College is a bit late for sex Ed. You'd be lucky to find more then 100 virgins.
joeyl2008 29
Which sucks because I really need to find some to sacrifice to Cthulhu
ASD_K 11
Your sub is so good at staying on topic.
emeraldisle 30
9 - off topic but your profile pic made me laugh out loud so hard!
CherryLipBalm 1
He must have been an awkward kid when he was in school...
teresee 8
I see, he must be very enthralled in this topic to absent-mindedly bring it up while teaching.