Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband decided it would be a good idea, when he was supposed to do his speech, to stand up and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. Genitals. That is all." FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, as my husband and I were leaving our wedding reception, my mother-in-law hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You're gonna do great tonight!" FML
Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML
Today, my dad gave a speech at my wedding. It started with, “Forty years ago, there was a tree…” and continued in the same vein about his work as a biologist. I might have been mentioned in passing. My new wife was not. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be appropriate to get drunk at my wedding and include in his father of the bride speech all the very bad things I did as a child, before I got the psychiatric help I needed. My in-laws were giving me death glares, and his nana yelled, “Shame on you!” at me. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
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Top comments
elmyra_duff 0
don't be an idiot. what he meant is he didn't think you'd grow up. that's what parents think. you're always their little daughter.
cucumberfabulous 7
Hahahahaha I wouldn't take that to seriously....I'd laugh too! =)
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Comments (92)
isaysummer 0
Whoever moderated this deserves a nice punch to the head.
reader101 0
he probably thought that it wouldn't happen since you're such a paranoid person?
iElite 0
how can something so lame make it, and all the funny things i write dont :/ L_A_M_E
BlackScorpionAng 0
iElite you said, "how can something so lame make it, and all the funny things i write dont :/ L_A_M_E" Well to begin with I do agree this is a very lame story... to ******* lame to have made it through, but that's just how it goes...and if your "funny" stories never make it it's more than likely because they are even less funny than this dog turd of a story. A lot of people think they have the funniest shit to tell and honestly, most people force out polite laughter to save their feelings. Here however no one knows you and most people are so pissed at hearing one too many unfunny stories from a friend they want revenge... so you better be funny or you're gonna get smeared. So suck that rejection up, no one wants to hear your lame stories... deal with it and shut up. ...Thanks.
icertainlysuck 0
how is this an fml?
lifeaveragekinda 0
ydi it for giving him a chance to make the speech. Should have eloped.
pork_is_good 0
wtf is this yea i agree fyl cause you are a fucktard
shaeto 0
It's a figure of speech. Stop being so ******* sensitive.
dlogan93 0
yeah bitch calm the **** down
spoo 24
YDI - there are a number of things what hes saying could mean, Some are things that could be your fault. And given the reaction, Im betting it is one of those explanations.
unhacked21 0
**** it. u got married. be happy