Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband decided it would be a good idea, when he was supposed to do his speech, to stand up and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. Genitals. That is all." FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, as my husband and I were leaving our wedding reception, my mother-in-law hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You're gonna do great tonight!" FML
Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML
Today, my dad gave a speech at my wedding. It started with, “Forty years ago, there was a tree…” and continued in the same vein about his work as a biologist. I might have been mentioned in passing. My new wife was not. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be appropriate to get drunk at my wedding and include in his father of the bride speech all the very bad things I did as a child, before I got the psychiatric help I needed. My in-laws were giving me death glares, and his nana yelled, “Shame on you!” at me. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
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Top comments
elmyra_duff 0
don't be an idiot. what he meant is he didn't think you'd grow up. that's what parents think. you're always their little daughter.
cucumberfabulous 7
Hahahahaha I wouldn't take that to seriously....I'd laugh too! =)
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Comments (92)
DomK 0
OP sucks. Dn't whine over everything.
hotpinklovee 0
Posts like these would make a lot more sense if pictures of the poster were required with every FML. That would make the site a whole lot better.
idkmybffjill1 0
wow really? he doesn't mean it like that. Its more of a surprise that you've grown up. So here's an idea. Stop thinking your life sucks overthinking everything. I'm surprised you made it this far with that outlook.
xxXChiiXxx 2
. . .
tanartheshadow 0
(Really bad Asian accent) OH NO ITS BRIDEZILLA WE MUST FEEL FML OR SHE WILL CRUSH US ALL
Kiki_2_u 0
OMG. You take Fmylife a little to seriously.
BlackScorpionAng 0
Instead you should have written..."Today I got married and instead of getting boned by my new husband I'm on the internet.. FML." Actually...you know whose life is ******? Your new husbands. I see **** and wanking in his future.
athos1237 4
How is this an FML? Happens at most weddings. Get over yourself, dad was just giving his dad speech and everyone applauded like they do at every pause because that's what they are supposed to do. Most probably never paid attention to his speech, they just clapped because others were.
MisterHenry 0
YDI for having a father.
chibangers 0
YDI for being an idiot.