Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said, "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
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Top comments
joliesbebes 0
well in situations like these it's best to ask for feedback. you could try "what am I doing wrong" or "what would you like me to do?" if she doesn't say anything then at least you tried?
alexFYL 11
FTR there is not really any such thing as "loose", the ****** is basically elastic. Even if you go from a giant 6" diameter ***** down to your bf's 1.5" diameter penis, the ****** would still retain its original shape. It's like a balloon. The only time it's loose is after child birth, and even then it goes back to... well, more or less the original shape. Kegels help. ... Furthermore, being loose would not change how bad the OP's lovemaking is.
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Comments (147)
fluffyrocka 0
Your life rocks! I'm lying, you suck at life
Leggooo 0
hahaha wooow
haolejudoka 1
Check out Tim Ferriss's 4hour body. It's got a section called the 15 minute female ******. no "equipment" required
Rasetsu 10
I'm sorry, but she rocks. and that DOES suck. the Internet has lots of advice! :(
Homnomnom 0
LMFAO I'm so sorry xD
tink92 3
lol thats horrible.
volleychic2014 0
just so you know, she won't ****** unless you stimulate her ********.
ialaNdarlene 0
LMAO !!!!
corrinaswan 0
lmao wow u can't be that bad for her to straight up tell u so it's either u really suck or she's hard to impress
MrKrustyKrab 0
go practice!