Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
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Top comments
random__user 0
You deserved it, you idiot. The puppy didn't though.
sexyx0sandyyy 0
awww! poor puppy!!! how cute/sad!
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Comments (359)
artykat 0
AWH ]:
mattmag 0
at least it was your "adopted puppy" and not one that you gave birth to.
epic_phail 0
#115 I think it's hilarious that you mention "well my dog just had puppies and this is the third time, and because of this I KNOW that is is wrong to hit a dog" lol
bdaycake 0
aww! i did the same thing to my dog. he has a beard and he was under the table when i was eating dinner when he came up to me (my hand was in my lap) wanting me to pet him and i thought he was a fly so i swatted him in the face! i just said sorry (you know, petted him and stuff) and he got over it. go give your puppy a hug and show him you won't kick him again, lol.
Tamblyn 0
Kicking a mosquito that's on your leg? Rofl.
Daysgoby 0
I seriously doubt the OP knew that mosquitoes use "numbing agents" so he just assumed it was one because he had no clue. Pets whiskers or nose can tend to feel like an insect
Kareohlynah 0
Bitch!
p0kegeek 4
red rocket can make puppy like you again
esseestpercipi 0
wow.
babawaba 0
Suicide is your only option.