Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
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Top comments
random__user 0
You deserved it, you idiot. The puppy didn't though.
sexyx0sandyyy 0
awww! poor puppy!!! how cute/sad!
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Comments (359)
cant_touch_this 0
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
manders_ 0
Okay, so why would you try to kick a mosquito.. Puppies don't feel like mosquitos.. wow. You dumbass. You don't deserve a dog.
jabbaundead 0
aweeeeeeeee! you must feel so bad. it's not your fault though. poor puppy. i always feel so bad when i accidentally step on my weiner dog's tail.
well_this_sucks 0
7- WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU
AK 2
That's a pretty big mosquito.
evanwilliams 4
#119 WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? Read #110 kid.
jet_fml 0
#17, it would feel like a bug landing on you. Jesus.
camis 0
The reverse happened to me once. I was sitting at the computer and felt my cat's nose on my leg. Shook my leg a few times to get her to go away. When I looked down, it was a cockroach climbing up. Well, anyway. Poor puppy.
Mr_Positive 3
agree with #22 and #110..instead of criticizing try to give ways of how OP can make it up to the puppy
paperfox_fml 0
#110, you know ****-all about decent dog training and how an animal's mind works. Ever heard of positive reinforcement? Please, do some proper research and discover for yourself that ever since leaving the dark ages it is no longer acceptable to rub your dog's nose in its excrement and that hitting an animal is a shitty thing to do. We have, believe it or not, moved on a bit in the last century with regards to training techniques.