Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML
Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My birthday present was a pelvic exam, and not even the good kind of pelvic exam. Woo hoo! FML
Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML
Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML
Today, my doctor called with my test results, which seem to tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I'm still sitting here with an appendage that I'd swear was dispensing napalm, but now I have a $500 bill to go with it. FML
Today, I was at my gynecologist's for my checkup and had this sudden urge to poop - but it was my turn, so I just went ahead to meet the doc. The doctor noticed that I wanted to poop and also informed all the orderlies that, "This patient wants to pass stool now." FML
Today, I went to have a vaginal ultrasound. The nurse walked me back and I got undressed. She said the tech doing the procedure would be right in. It was my preacher's son. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
From what I've heard, those exams can be excruciatingly pleasurable. Enjoy your intense boner and I hope you have someone to drain it on or in.
MysticMint 0
Happy going away! May your prostate always be healthy. :D
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Comments (104)
AnagenisisZagus 13
If you get an erection as a male doctor enters your outlet with Mr. Index, you can have an excuse being away from home for so long. Look on the brighter side.
Muffin_Tops_fml 2
quit playing, you know you liked it.
LOLbomb 1
Surely after all those years of publicly showering with your comrades, a finger up your anus would be a walk in the park.l
lmaoatall 6
you've been through combat, I think you can handle it. now bend over and give me 20
lmaoatall 6
27- anyway will b fine with me! I'm not to picky. but after his exam, he may want to avoid squats.
SirEBC 7
I heard DocBasard likes giving those. Oooohh, burn. *Flips Doc off*
ohaiwatsurname 0
Why DocBastard....? .__.
DocBastard 40
I only like giving them when the guy grunts and groans. Knowing my finger is causing such an intensely unpleasurable sensation is power. Now when they moan, that's when I send them to my colleague, the esteemed Dr. Ever1luvsboners. He's better, er, equipped to deal with such things.
TheFuckerofShit 16
Please don't run like Peter Griffin after the doctor does his job.
Deeznutzhairy 7
first mofo
sgtrobswifey 0
You're surprised that's their thank you?? Did ya not learn anything while being in the military.. hahah! Anyway, thank you for your service, and good luck in the civilian world!
jess6blondie9 3
Have fun having his finger up your ass.
zachgriggs13 0
Hey ur cute
TraceCase_ 19
What kind of present did you want from the hospital? A quick finger up the butt is better than a pair of prosthetic legs.
TheKevinDasilva 0
haha i never thought of it that way OP... your right XD
twinkle_nipso_O 0
my thought exactly! anyway prostate cancer is a big killer, getting checked it a good thing!