Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Relaxed
Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML
Don't stop
Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (who is very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I farted. FML
Bailed out
Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML
Messed up
Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML
Today, on my way to the dentist, I got rear ended by my own dentist. FML
Nice.
Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML
Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML
The longest monologue
Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML
Top comments
maneater8 7
How do u "accidentally" do that
testestestes123 4
I am still trying to envision how that happened.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (136)
xrawritsashleyx 11
Awkwarrrrrrd
Cairo_Sanchez 8
I think you felt a little TOO comfortable...
themarshal_fml 6
Need a moment? Chew it over with Twix.
Eelam_star 2
Or have a break, have a Kit-Kat
winnerme123 8
Hungry? Eat a Snickers.
Charmillionaire 13
Geico. 15 minutes can save you 15 percent or more on car insurance. Am I cool now, guys?
don1qot 6
"Tell your doctor if your erection lasts more than four hours..."
sens3sfailing 25
I don't think you need to tell them if it is in their face, but depending on the doctor, you can always ask for help getting rid of it.
EverestMelting 23
-34 I thought it was Orbitz?
heyguysitsjosh 8
You're thinking of "For a good clean feeling, no matter what"
imperialtl 12
You captured my response perfectly.
counterfit 10
113 that's Orbit, the gum. Orbitz is a travel website.
maneater8 7
How do u "accidentally" do that
indielove 13
Did you then gaze into his eyes?
BlowinChronic 18
There was absolutely no reason for threadjacking here, you were number 7. Just make your own comment.
ktc24 3
My thought exactly...
bettykooler 7
I suppose if he went to reach around to point something out and the doctor's head was in the way his hand could skim the top of the doctor's head.
MisterMuffinz 13
Force of habit. If you know what I mean.
Levvy 22
Pretty sure he meant involuntarily, which isn't quite the same thing.
majorjeneral 0
I just want to point out, to the imagination, that not all hernia exams are rectal. OP didn't necessarily have to reach around. The doctor could have been touching his torso. It could have been a painful/tender spot and he reacted. Albeit in a very intimate way.
ICastillo 25
"My mind is telling me no, but my body, my body is telling me yes". This the only thing that comes to mind about this FML.
sens3sfailing 25
I have always gotten checked for hernias under my testicles. so it was probably like that where the doctor was in a possition similar to that of a girl giving a *******. I think most people assumed this because it is just the most understandable as to why OP would run his hand through the doctors hair.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
63- is it wrong that I sang that while I read it?
ICastillo 25
Hell na man Ill sing with you.
KBear3109 29
55- I've never heard of a hernia exam done rectally, what doctor do you go to?
majorjeneral 0
I've seen several cases that had rectal examinations done before surgery. They were all umbilical hernias. Also, I was responding to an earlier comment that mentioned reaching around. As a female a "complete" gynecological exam includes a rectal exam.
testestestes123 4
I am still trying to envision how that happened.
xrudeboyrock 29
I've been doing that for ten minutes. I got nothing.
Ugi 27
I'm trying like crazy to avoid exactly that vision!
RedPillSucks 33
Not sure how docs check hernias. Perhaps they accidentally ended up in her favourite sex position and the muscle memory took over. EDIT: Oh crap! OP is a dude!!! I got nothing.
ICastillo 25
I'm trying to envision how the doctor reacted did he/she just casually ignore it, or did he/she enjoy it and got more into the exam.
counterfit 10
Today, while giving a patient a hernia exam, he ran his fingers through my hair. FML
counterfit 10
Aww, someone posted that 2 days ago. =(
pbonham 22
I'm trying to imagine what was going through your mind at the time but I can't think of anything reasonable that would explain why you ran your fingers through your doctor's hair..... For your sake I hope it was a female doctor...
infaith 5
and if it wasn't? DUN DUN DUUUNN
tbooty2140 4
If it wasn't he was gay
BossPathfinderGM 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If it was female, it would not have been an FML moment.
trivel64 16
45- It's still embarrassing.
pbonham 22
45- Um, yeah, it would have been an FML moment
sexyaniknowit 7
Cover it up by saying there was something in his/her hair and you were trying to take it out. If that doesn't work I would find a new doctor, just so that you don't 'accidentally' stroke something else next time.
chocolateisyum 12
Well that's what I call an awkward moment! Just try and play it off as you getting something out of his hair?
Llamassss 21
Maybe you should let everyone know not to read 1 and 6's comments. I just wasted my time reading them when all I had to do was read this one!
11wanda11 6
Fake!
Derzimma 2
Maybe the poster is a she. Everybody knows that people tend to do weird shit in situations they're not used to. So maybe while the doc was touching her abdomen she just, out of reflex, reached out and gave the Doc a friendly pat on the head like she would do with a partner who's going down on her.
MikeonFML 17
Well the Fml has the gender icon for male so it's probably a guy
Dusty_Busters 15
Ha yea
challan 19
Basic human anatomy lessons are in order here. we don't have this test, hun.
JamSaucey 7
Actually, a hernia occurs when the intestines poke out of the muscle wall that guards the abdomen. Both male and female are capable of a hernia.
MEM0817 18
I lost brain cells reading this ridiculously stupid comment. There's like 14 things wrong with it. I can't even bring my self to spell them all out.
challan 19
83 That's correct, but the doctor doesn't lift our balls and check our taint while telling us to cough. Thanks for playing, try again.
Llamassss 21
94- You've obviously never been checked for a hernia or had no idea what the doctor was doing when they touched your abdomen. To check a female, the doctor simply presses their fingers on their patient's abdomen to check for swelling. Thanks for playing, try again.
strawberrywine22 30
Today, while giving a patient a hernia exam, he ran his fingers through my hair. FML.
BlowinChronic 18
If he finds something wrong and tells you that you need to come back many times to check up on it, that's when you get scared.