Today, my doctor called with my test results, which seem to tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I'm still sitting here with an appendage that I'd swear was dispensing napalm, but now I have a $500 bill to go with it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML
Today, I went to a doctor's appointment, being concerned about some abnormal swelling and soreness in one of my testicles. They fondled my balls for 20 seconds before saying, "Yeah, that's abnormal. You should probably go get an ultrasound somewhere and maybe take some ibuprofen for the pain. That'll be $265." FML
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, I went to a pain specialist to get help with my chronic pain. He did not diagnose anything or discuss causes. He then said, "Good luck with that" as I left. Of course, I still got billed. FML
Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said, "Nah". FML
Today, I received the good news that my spine looks normal. Either the degenerative disc that was diagnosed 5 years prior magically healed, or my current doctor is an idiot. Considering that it's felt like someone is chiseling into my spine for some days, I'm leaning toward the latter. FML
Today, I went to the doctor with some serious physical symptoms that amount to being effectively disabled. She didn’t even ask any questions or examine me before telling me it was all purely psychological. I barely managed to convince her to at least order some blood tests, as a formality. FML
Today, after 8 years of being guinea-pigged for medical testing that "might work" on my ribcage for chronic pain, I finally caved and tried going to a pain clinic. The doctors' responses mostly consisted of, "That's weird" and, "That doesn't make any sense." FML
Today, I finally got insurance after months of paperwork, and so I went to the doctor. I was billed $873 for a "consultation" that pretty much consisted of being weighed and told to "Google it." FML
Today, my doctor informed me that the tests we've been doing the previous months show no sign of leukemia. I was just about to express my relief when he casually followed up with, "Never mind, there's still a lot of other blood-related diseases we need to look out for." FML
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Top comments
TheHub 0
Aren't you glad you don't live in an evil European socialist pinko terrorist lover country?
17Master 0
lol napalm. Get a second doc to check that out.
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Comments (34)
TheHub 0
Aren't you glad you don't live in an evil European socialist pinko terrorist lover country?
chickletno1 0
nice
allie2590 31
I agree with 1. American healthcare sucks.
dantheman931 0
It might be time to seek a second opinion, or consider the possibility that it's all in your head.
crownlogic 25
Considering the OP is relating their pain to something of a napalm dispensing wound, and you're only suggesting only a -second- opinion, it's highly unlikely and invalidating to say it's all in their head.
17Master 0
lol napalm. Get a second doc to check that out.
meningless 0
lol. nalpom. nice. dont light it! check with another doc is all i can say.
markymark1429 8
the word has been typed several times, and you still spelt it wrong
Nacirema20 0
ohh... im srry... that blows... :-/ FYL.
lastminuteperm 0
New doctor time.
BigD3452 6
dude drink plenty of fluids, it helps alot dehydration can make it dark yellow and burn on the way out, also get checked for a yeast infection it's rare but it happens
Mayse 0
lol go **** yourself 10
LexOrdrin 0
10 STFU THIS ISN'T A HEALTHCARE SIGHT **** OFF AND DIE
markymark1429 8
still doesn't dismiss the fact we have a better education system and health care :)
crapmaster3000 19
**site
nm22395 0
napalm... dont drink it... it f*cks you up
rebelharmony 0
WTF is spermicide