Today, I was wearing a new $500 dress on a crowded train. I looked great and I could feel the eyes on me. A cute guy then offered me his seat, only boosting my confidence more until he said "for you and the baby," pointing at a bump in my dress. I'm not pregnant and wasted $500. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML
Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML
Today, as I stepped into a subway car, I noticed some free seats and began walking towards them. A group of girls standing nearby looked at me, then at the seats, and made a run for them. They then high-fived, presumably as congratulations for sitting down before the pregnant lady could. FML
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, while taking the subway home, a woman offered me her seat. I smiled and declined. She said she insisted because of my "pregnancy." I was too ashamed to say I wasn't pregnant, so I just took the seat. FML
Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML
Today, a businessman in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
Today, I wore a beautiful new dress that I got for £5 only in a sale. I've been turning heads in it all day. When I got home, my mum pulled the massive red £5 tag off of the back. FML
Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML
Today, I walked into work feeling confident in my new outfit. It wasn’t until lunchtime that a colleague pointed out the price tag hanging from my skirt. I’d been flaunting my ass's price all morning. FML
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Top comments
vanadesse 0
YDI for buying a five hundred dollar dress.
vee_baby 0
Is that where you keep your ego? YDI.
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Comments (252)
lolzorspoop 0
first YDI
arsenalfcboy 6
YDI for not knowing your own currency. It's pounds, not dollars.
wasted0087 0
She could be on a U.S. military base. I use Dollars in Germany
epicenur 2
that's not a ydi dumbass, she could be in the US atm
Chocolate_Chunk 2
she could also just have calculated the dollar sum of it because most people on FML are americans. I do that all the time in the internet.
YouCanCallMeBo 0
I oughtta slap your mother.
Bryan_Z 0
you bought a pregnancy dress? smart.
dabears1011234 27
This is the best comment I have ever read.
josface 0
I don't get it?
starquality 7
she has a potbelly most likely......
sunflower226 0
she's fat. he thought she was pregnant.
ccsballazdre 8
Hopefully the store has returns.
vee_baby 0
Is that where you keep your ego? YDI.
Kmart921 2
Ouch.
vanadesse 0
YDI for buying a five hundred dollar dress.
jallenallen 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
obviously someone does not know fashion....
fishsmash 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
obviously someone else likes men and penis in their butt
hahasooo 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
hahha.good one!
sammyg 0
"today, i finally succeeded in my life goal of being the first person to comment on an fmylife post, only to realize that i ended up looking like a giant douche. fml. -lolzorpoop"
Julian_is_FML 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
lol i feel bad for u but great story check mine out kk :P