Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML
Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML
Today, I'm 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long, 12-hour drive. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, my husband has been super happy for the last 11 weeks, as he's been able to tell me what to do, when to do it and how to do it. Now I'm allowed to start work again, he's gone back to being super shitty. FML
Today, I am 10 weeks pregnant and my husband says he needs time for himself. This apparently means he will be romancing and sleeping with other women so he can "relax". FML
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Top comments
tbro47 23
Well if he wants to call you big start calling him small. That would shut him up.
Welshite 40
Just as long as he doesn't have extreme short-term memory loss. Also, you might want to name your child Nemo. It's for the best.
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Comments (83)
awilliams44 9
hahaha awwww I would make him sleep on the couch
worldclassrager 41
So did he want a root beer float?
meganikans 14
No he wants her to go to the back his throat. (:
lifesuxxxsc 5
I'd get back at him by following him around making elephant noises! hah
thebryceinator 5
Make his death long and painful
Lil_Red777 21
I'm pregnant too and I'd cry if someone did that to me. My boyfriend would never do that because he isn't an asshole....I can't believe you're husband would be that inconsiderate. You are carrying his child after all.
Lil_Red777 21
Are you kidding me??? He's insinuating his wife is a whale. How is that not being an asshole??? You have to be a special kind of stupid to think that wouldn't hurt any woman's feelings.
Sniper_Chick4110 20
#77. Op is lucky, During my pregnancy i predict my husband will just bitch about what a weak human being i am every time i feel pain or cry etc. I would be happy to be called a whale and made a joke of, i think it's cute and i would probably go along with it and join him in making whale noises too. Why does everything have to be so serious?
havahnegila 22
Name him Jonah, it's only suiting. Your husband won't be able to object either.... He practically named him himself. It's a beautiful name too.
meganikans 14
Tell him off!!! You are carrying his child and you deserve more respect then that. If he doesnt stop tell him your waving in with someone that will support you through the pregnancy and not tear you down.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Once or twice for a laugh I might understand and laugh off myself (but I've never been pregnant). But continuously throughout the pregnancy? Pretty unacceptable.
zsshamalama 11
He's just joking around. It's lighthearted playfulness. If it annoys you, ask him to stop.
titibug823 11
Tell him how it makes you feel and ask him to please stop. If you've already done that and it doesnt work, punch him... HARD in the throat, or gut... make him think twice about EVER doing that again.